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“No,” she muttered. “All the positions are low paying. Nothing like I was making back home.”
“Do you want me to help?”
Violet's brows went up. “No. God, you've done so much already.”
“I want to do more, Violet,” I said, the desire weighty in my chest. “You deserve more.”
She smiled. “Thank you, Shawn, but I feel like I should try to do this on my own.”
My respect for her grew. Though she'd been through a lot, she wasn't bent on using that as an excuse to get by on favors. She wanted to be independent. “I understand,” I said.
She glanced at my plate curiously.
“Want to have a taste?” I asked.
She laughed. “I was just curious. I never had a bruschetta topped off with roasted fig. Is it good?”
“You tell me.” I forked a helping into her mouth, and she chewed thoughtfully for a long moment, then nodded her approval.
“That's amazing,” she said.
“Do you want to order some?”
“A dinner of appetizers?” She scrunched up her nose, considering.
I shrugged. Her cute expressions were so disarming. “We can do anything you want.”
Violet looked at me curiously, then shook her head. “No, that’s okay.” She went back to eating her stuffed mushrooms.
We weren’t even done with the appetizer yet, and I dreaded the end of our evening out. The upside was that we were going home together, and I would be able to hold her all night long.
Chapter13
Violet
All week, the boys and I spent every moment together after they got home from school. I imagined they'd be sick of me by the time we finished their homework but instead, they’d excitedly toss their textbooks aside and ask, “What are we doing next?”
I couldn't complain. Not only were they the funniest duo, but they also helped take my mind off their dad. For the most part, at least. We'd be in the middle of chess—which we were all learning—and in the guise of considering my next move, I'd drift off into more pleasant thoughts of Shawn. I was a daydreamer in my teens, but the habit dropped off once I had to face life on my own. Now, though, it crept back in, and Shawn was the focal point.
“Violet, aren't you going to make your move?” Leon would ask.
I would shake out of my reverie and try to focus for the next few minutes, but drifting off was always inevitable. Shawn was on my mind constantly.
At first, it worried me how quickly I grew to crave him. He’d made no promises, and we hadn't clearly defined what we were doing. Before, I would be nervous and worry I was being strung along. But being with Shawn over the past few weeks made me feel content in a way that my relationship with Eric never had.
When I first met him, Shawn had come off as a closed-off and grouchy man, but in the past couple of weeks, I saw a new side of him. It felt like he opened up and let me into a world no one had ever been a part of.
When he was home and hung out with the boys, he would be all straight-faced. Yet, when I walked by and his eyes caught mine over their heads, he would smile and wink at me. Those private moments we shared warmed me in a way I’d never before experienced.
We hadn’t discussed it, but we were never overtly affectionate when the boys were present. Shawn would keep his questions limited to the boys, and I kept my answers short. When the boys were out or asleep, that's when Shawn became what I called his ‘true self’ with me.
He'd pull me close and his lips would roam over my face, neck, and lips; if we couldn't make it to the bedroom, he'd take me on the kitchen counter. Or the living room couch. Or the stairs.
A tremor slid through me. I pressed my thighs together, forcing my mind away from those thoughts. Shawn had been gone for three days on a trip, and I was nearly out of my mind with need. I had no idea which was worse: having him here and pretending we weren't intimate, unable to touch him, or him not being home at all. Probably the latter. I could go a whole day and resist my desire to touch him, so long as I had the nights to look forward to. But Shawn didn't make it any easier. He would come into the kitchen, freshly bathed and smelling like soap when the kids were there. I doubled down on conversing with the boys. It was all I could do not to picture him naked and lathering up his length. Had he ever stroked himself to thoughts of me?
A smile ticked up my lips. He was coming home today, and the boys would be at a sleepover, so... My face heated.
I quickly went back to my task. I was wrist-deep in dough, baking cookies for the boys' sleepover. One of their friends invited them over, and the parents would be their chaperones. The kids had been buddies since kindergarten, and Shawn agreed to let the boys stay the night at their place.
