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Maybe for Diesel and maybe even for the MC, but not for me.
Never for me.
I promised her I would protect her and that’s exactly what the fuck I was going to do.
Chapter 26
Peyton
I was home alone, locked up safe and sound, and feeling miserable. Again. Which meant there was only one person I wanted to talk to.
“How are you?” Lisa asked when she answered my phone call.
I shrugged. “Been better.”
“Oh no, honey. What’s got you down? Please, tell me it isn’t something new.”
“What, because being pregnant isn’t enough?”
“I’m sorry, I only—”
“It’s okay, sorry. Didn’t mean to snap at you.” I felt my throat tighten in warning already, and I shoved my palm into my eyes to try and force my emotions back. “How have you been?”
“I’ve been fine, baby, nothing to worry about. Please, don’t even think about me.”
I pressed my lips together. “I’m tired of feeling sorry for myself, Lisa. Let’s talk about you for a little bit.”
So we did. For nearly twenty minutes we chatted about nothing, shows on Netflix and a new dinner recipe she’d seen in a video and other stupid shit, until my heart felt light enough that when my pregnancy came up again, I was able to actually talk about it.
“You know you don’t have to be pregnant if you don’t want to be, right? I mean, you haven’t told anyone else yet, which sounds to me like it means even you’re not sure.”
“I’m sure that I’m keeping the baby,” I said firmly, and even as I said it, I knew it was true. “I know it’s under terrible circumstances and I know I should reconsider, but I can’t. This is…I don’t know how to explain it. This is my baby, you know? I have a child. It’s mine, and I can’t just get rid of it. I want a family. What if this is the only chance I’ll ever have?” What if no one ever loves me enough to do it on purpose with me? But I didn’t quite say those words, because I knew exactly how they’d sound and what she’d say in response.
But I felt it. And I tried my best to bury it, but that feeling of never being good enough wouldn’t quite leave me.
“I’m so fucked up,” I whispered after a moment. “So damaged, that I might not ever get the husband and the picket fence, so I’m taking what I can get.”
She went quiet on the other end of the line for a long minute. A low whisper sounded beside her, which brought me out of the spiral that threatened to take me again.
I blinked, and the ghost of a smile passed across my lips. “Is someone there with you?”
“Yeah.” She paused again, and I sat up straighter, wanting suddenly to go back to talking about light, fun stuff like boys instead of all my problems.
“Who is it?” I asked.
“That’s not important right now, but what I have to tell you next is. Remember that creep, Zachary?”
“God, yeah,” I said, feeling a shiver of dislike course through me at the mere mention of him. “What about him?”
“Well, he stopped by my apartment the other day asking to see you.”
I blinked. “What the fuck?”
“Exactly, what the fuck? He wanted to know if you were okay and if I knew where you were. Like I was just gonna tell him. Luckily, I wasn’t alone at the time, so he didn’t hang around long.”
“Wait, how…” My mind was suddenly running a million miles an hour. “First of all, how the fuck does he know who you are?”
I heard another whisper, and Lisa shushing someone in the background. “He remembered me from the bar, he actually called you my girlfriend at first, though he said it like he didn’t believe it.”
