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Smiling at the roadblock to my plan, I admire the handsome biker. My silence allows Bear to glance around my room. He grins at the canopy bed, like he always suspected I lived like a princess.
His gaze flashes to the tackboard. His smile fades at the sight of Ollie’s photos. Bear moves closer, focusing on pictures of me with my friends. His fingers stroke the images, seeming to mourn me even as I watch him.
Before I can think of something to brighten the mood, I’m startled by a knock at the door. The nurse pokes her head in and says the kids are outside. I hear their little voices trying to whisper. Jacinda sounds hyper while Hector has been crying.
“I’m ready to see them,” I tell the nurse who enters and gets comfy like she’s pumped herself up to deal with my stubbornness.
Jacinda races in the room before hitting the brakes and getting stuck as if remembering she isn’t supposed to run. She stares at me from her spot halfway to my bed. Her little face crumbles as her feet remain trapped.
Bear sweeps her up and places her carefully on my bed. Hector stands teary-eyed at the door. He lifts his arms when Bear comes toward him. Soon, I’ve got my babies against me. They stare horrified at my battered face.
“More boo-boos,” Jacinda says and stands up on the bed to kiss the bump on my forehead.
“Bear has boo-boos, too,” I tell them. “He needs to get out of his boots and come rest with us.”
Stuck like one of the kids, he finally gets his ass moving and climbs in bed next to me.
“Oh, no,” Hector mumbles when he sees the cuts on Bear’s flesh. “Dad hurt you?”
“No, kid. Dad is gone. I got in an accident like Natasha.”
The kids seem confused about what to do. Bear looks awkward with the nurse and nanny nearby. I feel exhausted and don’t want to be in charge. Yet, I need everyone to be happy.
“We better kiss our boo-boos,” I insist and kiss Bear’s bandaged arm.
As the kids cuddle closer, we take turn kissing everyone’s boo-boos. Hector shows us the bruise from where he fell while playing with the kite. Jacinda has a cut on her hand from a rosebush thorn. By the time we finish kissing boo-boos, the kids aren’t so wired, and Bear is wrapped closer to me.
Like on our first night back in Banta City, the kids and I comfort each other. This time around, our future is no longer uncertain. We can see him clear as day as he watches Sesame Street and naps with us.
BEAR
In my many fantasies about the first time Natasha and I would share a bed overnight, I never imagined it taking place at the Thibeaux Mansion. Or that the kids would be right next to us.
I feel under a microscope. The staff is always close. I sense every room is wired. I can’t even piss without worrying someone’s judging me. Yet, I willingly give up my privacy to be close to Natasha and the kids.
During our first few hours home, the nanny entertains Hector and Jacinda as much as possible in the massive bedroom. The restless kids don’t want to leave Natasha, yet she keeps dozing off.
Though I consider getting on the floor with them, my body has finally admitted those “harmless flesh wounds” hurt. I sit in a chair and suffer until the nurse asks if I need pain medication. I tell her no, offended by her thinking I’m incapable of suffering in silence.
Natasha watches me from the bed. She doesn’t say a single word, but I hear her voice in my head. She’s telling me how the mansion is the safest place in the state today. I can let my guard down and rest. She also reminds me how we’re getting married in less than a week. If I want to heal, now is the time.
After Natasha’s unspoken lecture, I ask the nurse for pain pills. She doesn’t go get the doctor first. Unlike at the hospital, with its rules and routines, the mansion’s staff has only one master.
That man arrives to check on Natasha twice during her first day home. Viktor shows up with Katja an hour after we arrive. He only gives me a head nod, revealing no warmth. I do notice how he smiles for his daughter who gets upset when she asks about Petra.
“She’s healing in her bedroom,” Katja explains. “You’ll see her tomorrow. For now, just rest.”
I appreciate them speaking in English for my benefit. They ditch that habit when they return after dinner. Viktor sits at the end of the bed and speaks quietly to Natasha and the kids who stare at him transfixed. I feel like he’s telling them a bedtime story. Whatever he says steals much of Natasha’s dread.
All day, she alternates between sleepy and panicked. She starts screaming twice before seeing me and offering a goofy smile. I worry her brain got messed up in the accident, but the medicine is probably just making her weird.
Natasha is out of it most of the day. She forgets my name several times. She refers to Jacinda as Jackie more than once. She randomly shortens Hector’s name to Tor. I tell the kids how she’s sick, so we need to be patient. Natasha smiles whenever I say that, but I can tell she doesn’t understand.
We never leave the bedroom during the first day. Meals are delivered. The nurse lingers until around eight when the next shift nurse arrives.
In the afternoon, I receive a suitcase of clothes and hygiene products. Pork Chop and Carys apparently went to my place to take care of the cats and rummage through my shit. I’m irritated about that last part, but I like the picture they took of the boys sitting on my bed watching the weirdoes search my underwear drawer.
Natasha’s wealth smacks me in the face during that first night. The bathroom is huge and slick as fuck. The clothes in her closet are organized by color. No way did Natasha do that herself.
