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“Soulmates are those we are destined to be with due to soul contracts we made before this incarnation,” Verla explained. “You and Lucas, for example, are likely soulmates. Twin flames, on the other hand, are much deeper, more intense bonds, and they aren’t necessarily romantic—though in some cultures they can be. Not all twin flames are genetically related as they are in the coven.”
“What makes a twin flame connection more intense?” I wondered.
“A twin flame refers to two halves of a soul who are meeting in the same lifetime. Soulmates, on the other hand, are separate souls,” Verla said. “Twin flames are meant to live their lives together, in different bodies, but still supporting one another in their life’s journey. Each half of the twin flame bond makes the other whole. This bond is meant to last a lifetime, although some twin flames find the bond so intense that they are not able to coexist with each other and are forced to go their separate ways. On the other hand, soulmate bonds may come and go when the lessons have been learned.”
Lucas squeezed my hand, and I understood what he meant without having to say a word. I don’t want to lose you.
Verla must’ve noticed, because she quickly added, “Of course, soulmates can stay together to support each other, even when the lessons they’ve agreed to teach one another have been learned.”
“Why do we forget these lessons?” I questioned. “Each time we incarnate, we become these blank slates all over again.”
“Consciously, you forget,” Verla agreed. “But deep in your core, your soul remembers. The past versions of yourself still exist, but you become a new piece of the whole. Some lessons are only learned by viewing them through certain lenses. We must forget our past lives so that we can experience new things without old worldviews and beliefs holding us back. This is why sometimes souls choose to reincarnate in other religions, so they can see the world from a different point of view.”
“So we could have been fae or Elementai in another life?” Lucas asked.
Verla nodded. “It’s entirely possible. You could even be lovers with someone in one life, and parent and child in the next. You could even be your own grandchild.”
I leaned forward, intrigued by the lesson. “How many lives have we lived?”
“That depends on the soul,” Verla explained. “Gods have the power to create new souls, so some of us have been around longer than others. Would you like to return to your first life?”
Lucas and I nodded in unison.
Verla conjured a bowl and several vials of herbs. She set them on the coffee table in front of her. “I’m going to create an herb mixture and light it. The fumes will put you into a relaxed state that will assist with deep meditation. I will lead you through a guided meditation, and we’ll see what answers we can find.”
My hand instinctively went to my belly. “Is it safe?”
“Of course it’s safe, Nadine,” Verla said seriously. “I promise you that I will never do anything to harm your babies. And if anyone so dares to try, I will personally end them myself.”
Her passion for the safety of my child soothed me. I couldn’t think of anyone better to lead this ritual.
Verla spoke as she began mixing the herbs. “Lucas, take a seat on this empty chair. Nadine, you may lie down on the couch. I want you both to be able to completely relax.”
Lucas settled into the chair across from Verla, and I lay flat on my back across the couch cushions. Verla infused her magic into the herbs, then lit the mixture with a match.
Smoke billowed out of the bowl, and the sweet scent filled my nostrils. My muscles began to relax.
“Close your eyes, and focus on the sound of my voice,” Verla said softly. “Alone in this room, it is safe to let your guard down and explore memories outside this lifetime. Inhale a deep breath, and notice how your eyelids are beginning to get very heavy.”
I sank deeper into the couch, feeling as if I could melt into it.
“Now imagine a white light above your head. This is a warm, welcoming light—the light of Mother Miriam herself,” Verla continued. “Imagine that light entering the top of your head, then traveling down your body. With each cell it moves through, feel it filling you up with love, relaxing each muscle. Feel the tightness in your jaw release, and your shoulders fall away from your ears. Feel the light travel down your arms and into your fingertips, and swirling in your hips, relieving any worry and tension you may be holding on to.”
I pictured the light permeating my body all the way down to my toes, until I felt more relaxed than ever before.
“Now I want you to picture yourself in this moment, as if you are floating above your body, looking down on the room,” Verla instructed. “As you float higher above the room, you will find yourself looking down on this moment as if peering through a portal. You are now outside of time and space. Look around you. What colors do you see?”
In my imagination, I saw an endless navy-blue sky in all directions.
“As you gaze into the moment once more, you notice that a golden string extends from this moment in both directions,” Verla said. “In one direction is the future, which has not yet been written. In the other is your past. Turn now to your past, and begin walking down the timeline. You may see moments of your past through portals, as if viewing them from above.”
Memories flooded my mind—recent memories, like telling Lucas we were pregnant, then images from our wedding.
“See each memory as a snapshot as you pass by them,” Verla continued. “Take yourself back to the moment you walked through the doors to Miriam College… now even further back, to your first day of high school. Keep going, further into your childhood. Find a memory that sticks out, view it for a moment, and continue on.”
Memories of my time in the hospital before my lupus diagnosis passed through my mind. I wanted to stop at them, but I didn’t. I let the memories pass by, then kept going.
“See yourself on the playground in elementary school,” Verla said. “Now see yourself learning to take your first steps. See yourself as a baby, in the arms of your mother.”
