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“Dad. You’re freaking me out. Your face is doing something weird.”
I frowned. “I’m thinking.”
“Maybe don’t think in front of Fiona.” Laughing at my expression, Lucy made a show of popping her fingers and sitting at the island. “I don’t know what you’re thinking but I hope it's a way to get her to forgive you. I’ve read enough romance novels to know that you’re going to have to do something big to make this up to her. You believed your ex over her. You believed terrible things about her, if what Mom told me was the same thing she told you. You can’t just walk back into her life and expect her to forgive you.”
“Why are you reading romance novels?”
“Is that what you want to focus on right now?”
I swore. It wasn’t. I wanted to wrap my head around the lies Megan had told and figure out how to make it right so I could tell Fiona that I loved her. Love. That I love her, I thought with a small shake of my head. “Just tell me what to do.”
“Okay, but first, I’m going to need a drink from Starbucks and breakfast from McDonalds.” She smirked at me. “And I’m not washing the truck.”
“You’re definitely still washing the truck, Luce. You’re lucky that I’m not making you carry water down one glass at a time to do it after the shit you pulled.”
Her face sobered and she nodded. “Let’s stay focused on who we’re really mad at here, Dad. My mother.”
A laugh croaked out of my mouth, shocking us both. I had a moment of clarity and peace as I realized how glad I was that I hadn’t drank. I wouldn’t have been able to have that moment with Lucy if I’d given into the need. “I love you, kid.”
She rolled her eyes. “I love you, too.”
46
***Ryder***
After barely sleeping, I’d woken up late for a meeting with my agent and then missed a staff meeting at one of my restaurants that I should’ve been at. I was in the middle of putting out a fire because of that meeting when I got a call from Sara, letting me know that I was five minutes late picking up the boys and the school was already calling.
Something about hearing her voice made me want to snap my phone in half. Instead, I hung up and left everything I’d been doing in the middle of doing it and ran out to get my boys. Of course, I hit every red light on the way to their school and got caught behind someone driving under the speed limit right before I reached the street I needed to turn down. By the time I pulled in front of the school, Roman and Racey were the only students left standing with a very stern looking woman who never broke her scowl.
I hurried out and raced around to open the door for the boys while flashing a charming smile at the woman. “I’m so sorry for running late. I got caught behind-”
“Don’t apologize to me. Apologize to your kids.” After that tidbit, she turned and walked away, leaving me feeling like a real jackass.
I quickly turned to Roman and then back at Racey in the backseat. “I am really sorry, guys. Work-”
“Whatever, Dad.” Roman looked everywhere but at me. “Can we just go home?”
“I want to go to Fiona’s house.” Racey buckled himself in and threw his backpack in the seat beside him. “I brought the book about space Avery wanted to see. And maybe we could get ice cream to take over?”
I cleared my throat and started the truck, unsure about how to go forward. There’d been a constant sinking feeling in my chest since the day before. I didn’t know what to say to my own kids about Fiona. Just hearing her name was like getting punched in the jaw by a UFC champ.
“Did you hear me?” Racey leaned forward and tapped my shoulder. “Can we go to Fiona’s?”
I opened my mouth and then shut it again. I couldn’t say what really happened. That their mother had accused Fiona of awful shit and I’d let her.
Roman snorted out a derivative laugh and finally turned to face me. “Why can’t you just tell us what’s wrong?”
“Who says something’s wrong?” I had a flashback of his face the week before Sara and I told the kids we were splitting up. He’d known something was wrong and we’d lied to him, pretending like things were okay until we absolutely had to tell him. “I’m sorry. Something is wrong. Fiona and I aren’t together anymore.”
Racey’s voice was sad. “What? Why not?”
“Because Dad messes things up.” Roman scoffed, his attitude much older than his age. “You can’t even pick us up on time.”
Anger surged through my body but I tried to keep it in check. “Roman. Adult relationships are complicated.”
“Great. You’re going to give me the same speech you gave us when you left Mom.” He turned to face his little brother. “I don’t know if you remember it, Race, but it’s a lot of bullshit about adults drifting apart. He’s going to promise to spend more time with us and that his love for us hasn’t changed. It’s all fake.”
Racey started crying, his brother’s words filling him with anxiety. Instead of seeing Racey cry showing Roman that he was being a jerk, he just kept on.
