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“Yeah, soon,” she mumbles, still kneeling.
She tucks a loose lock behind her ear, looking a bit out of sorts. Her cheeks are bright pink, her eyes still glistening with desire as she struggles to regain her composure. I got what I wanted; a reaction to confirm what I’ve been suspecting for the past couple of weeks. Amaya wants us as badly as we want her.
8
Amaya
The session with Finn got the desired effect—at least for him. He’s got a way of dismantling my defenses, of making me laugh and keeping me busy in conversation before pouncing on me like a panther. And all I can do is let him because I want him. God, I want him so badly, it’s ridiculous. I spend the rest of my Friday afternoon in a gooey state, constantly aroused and trying to put the entire moment with Finn in the back of my head.
But I can’t.
His cologne still lingers, my skin still tingles from his touch. And the kiss. The kiss completely disarmed me and left me unhinged. Had those clients not come in when they did, I know we would’ve torn the clothes off one another right then and there.
We were so close to complete abandonment, it’s insane. I go over it again and again, trying to pinpoint where the whole mood shifted, but I can’t find it.
“Smooth bastard,” I mutter as I put Mikey’s storybook back on its shelf.
I’m so grateful I accepted Kace’s offer to move here. We have so much more space, not to mention I am able to sleep better being farther away from Derrick. Mikey seems a lot happier too.
My boy always sleeps like a log after daycare, just one more reason to stay here long-term. I watch him for a while, enjoying every second that I get to spend with him. I got so lucky with Mikey, though I don’t really know how it happened. He is such a good little kid, so patient and kind.
Yes, curious and sometimes naughty, yet not as much trouble as I’ve seen with other kids. Maybe deep down he somehow understands that I’m doing the best I can with what I’ve been given. He may be just a child, but I’ve got a feeling he comprehends the aspects of our life. I love him to the moon and back. I don’t regret a single decision I ever made in his favor.
I plant a soft kiss on his cheek and head out for a short walk. I called one of the daycare workers who also lives onsite, asking if she could come over and hang out in case Mikey wakes up while I’m gone. I tell her I won’t be long and step outside.
It’s nice and cool at this hour, especially in the middle of these giant sequoia trees. It’s quiet, as always, which gives me some headspace to process the day. After what happened with Kace, I feel guilty about Finn. Whenever we cross paths though, everything seems okay. I don’t sense any tension or awkwardness, and the truth is, I think they know that there is something happening between all of us. Some kind of insane chemistry that we can’t control.
Perhaps I should talk to Kace about Finn. Maybe about Elias, too. Nothing has happened with him yet but I reckon it’s a question of when, not if. I keep circling back to what Finn told me during what I can only consider to be the most exhilarating dry-humping session I ever had.
Imagine taking the three of us at the same time is what he’d said. Oh, I’ve imagined it. More and more lately. More often than is decent or reasonable.
I’ve tried to look past the jokes and the subtle hints. The playful double entendres and the racy jokes. I figured that’s their dynamic as best friends and business partners. I don’t mind any of it. Hell, it certainly keeps me entertained. It’s nice to play along too.
Something tells me there is more to it, much more. There’s more to everything they say, even in jest. I don’t think Finn was joking; we were about to fuck each other’s brains out. We were hot and bothered and on the verge of shameless and reckless abandonment.
I really should talk to Kace about it. Get some things straight. Clear the air.
I stifle a laugh as I walk over to the eastern side of the residential area, where Kace, Finn, and Elias live. They moved out of San Francisco as soon as they erected their gorgeous homes on the estate. They’re bigger than the staff homes, built on two levels, with solar tiles and sprawling balconies extending from the upper floor.
The lights are on in all of them.
I catch glimpses of movement as I huddle behind one of the maple trees out front. Security guards are out on patrol, but they keep a reasonable distance, surrounding the residential quarters altogether. There are motion sensors and cameras everywhere.
I’m not sure what it is that I’m doing or what exactly I’m hoping for but I think I just want to be closer to Kace. To all of them.
It’s the idea of forbidden fruit, and it makes my mouth water. I try to shake the thoughts away as I remove myself from the maple’s shadow. I take a deep breath and walk up the stoney pathway leading to Kace’s house.
I have to talk to him about Finn. I don’t know how I’m going to explain myself. The dynamic between us is confusing, at best. We did something the other night, something I didn’t imagine I’d get the chance to experience again. Then Finn came along and added more fuel to the fire. I’m afraid it’ll turn into an uncontrollable blaze, and I dread the idea of losing control.
“Come on, Amaya, be a big girl,” I tell myself as I stop in front of the door.
Soft jazz plays inside, the erratic emotions of a saxophone reverberating through an open window. I knock on the door once and hold my breath. This is it. No turning back.
It cannot be postponed any longer. My job, my career, this beautiful life that I seem to be building here with Mikey—everything is at stake, and I need to know where we stand.
Kace opens the door, clearly not surprised to see me. “Took you long enough,” he says.
“What, were you waiting for me?” I reply, somewhat confused.
