AllFreeNovel
Share Us
"It's...we really wanted space when you got pregnant, so instead of buying one of the houses in the new suburban neighborhoods, we settled on this old beauty. Do you still like it?"
I looked at the house than back at him. The word still seems redundant right now.
"It looks like everything I ever wanted." I never was a cry baby, and I doubted that had changed in the few years my mind couldn’t focus on, but I felt tears stinging my eyes. I was not sad. I was grateful.
"We could stay here for a second or walk around. I can show you the Italian restaurant that we like to order takeout from."
"No. I mean, I'd love to see it, but I just want to go inside. I know I said I'm scared, but I don't think I can't wait any longer. I need to see her, James."
I took his hand in mine, and he nodded. We were both nervous, but the streak of excitement and need to see the baby was vibrating in my heart.
James took the lead and opened the front door, letting us both inside. The first thing I saw were the luxurious wood panels on the walls and the chromatic pallet: blue and ivory. Every wall was covered in those colors, making the place look like a house from a furniture magazine. It was beautiful, absolutely stunning, but something didn’t sit well with me. It was like I had never lived here, like none of my bright colors ever made it into this house.
"The door was unlocked?" I asked, and James turned to me after taking off his leather shoes and methodically placing them on a shelf.
"The nanny is here. We were supposed to come home tomorrow. Why don't you go to the kitchen, and I’ll let her go? I don't want you to bother with her right now; it will only tire you further."
"Ok," I said and put my loafers next to his shoes. I looked around me, and he saw my confusion.
"The kitchen is the first on the left." He came closer and planted a kiss on my temple. He had me.
The kitchen matched the hallway with ivory cabinets with golden handles and beautiful dark blue countertops. Even the cups matched the color scheme. I was not saying it wasn’t beautiful, but what the hell was wrong with me to go only with two colors. Looking around, I bit my lips, thinking about how well a splash of red would go in here. Even a bouquet of poppies would do wanders. Oh, God, I hope I did a better job with the bebe's room.
I started looking through the cabinets and into the fridge, exploring the space like a dog when it was brought to a new home from the shelter. When I opened the big doors on the middle cabinet, I found a huge collection of bowls and plates. All blue and ivory. What. The. Hell? Was there something wrong with me? I bent to look at the bigger plates on the back, and I found the same two colors. This was getting ridiculous.
"Hey, James."
"Yes, love!" his voice answered from somewhere in the house.
"I think we need to redecorate a little. We need more than only two..."
When I got up and looked at the door, all my words got stuck in my throat. James was already there, watching me snooping through the kitchen as he held a baby girl wrapped in a pink, sparkly blanket. She was distracted by her father, moving her little hands on his face and giggling like she couldn’t believe he came back. I tried not to read too much into the fact she paid no attention to my presence.
"Oh my God..." All I could do was cover my mouth with my hands and look at her in awe. How could I make something so beautiful and not remember?
"Rita, come and meet your daughter, Chelsea. The nanny told me she skipped her nap so she might be cranky as hell."
"She doesn't look cranky." I stepped forward fearfully, so I didn’t scare her somehow. She was so small and fragile. Vulnerable. This bebe needed protection and all she had was a mindless mother who couldn’t remember shit about raising a child.
"Do you want to hold her?"
"I..." More than anything, but what if I did something wrong and hurt one of her little bones?
"Love, she is nine months old, not a newborn. You don't have to hesitate to touch her."
"Can I just come close and play with her while she's in your arms first?"
"Sure, come here. Chelsea, look who we have here."
James pointed at me and smiled, but this time, I could see the nerves hiding behind it. I couldn’t screw this up. I couldn’t.
Going to sit next to them, I locked eyes with the most beautiful child I'd ever seen. Her big eyes matched her father's and when she finally saw me, I felt pinned under her gaze. She was curious to see my face, like we were meeting each other for the first time, but it was just me, the one who couldn’t remember.
It was just like James said, love at first sight. Chelsea looked at me and mumbled something, and I was a goner. She had my heart in her palm to play with.
"James, she's..." but I stopped because perfect didn’t seem to cover it. She was definitely his daughter; the bebe had all his beautiful, warm features. She was contemplating me with care, like she knew that I needed time, again showing her father's wisdom. God knew that I lacked that quality. The only good decision I'd ever made was in this room, and I had no clue what guided me here. Maybe a miracle.
"Rita, are you alright?"
