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“Hi,” Elana’s own voice was wary as she looked at her sister-in-law’s surprise and very unexpected visit. “What are you up to today?”
“Oh, you know… checking on you.”
“Why?”
“Because Reese’s best friend cornered him this morning after getting yelled at by two crying women who wanted to know why you hated them on sight and didn’t bother to say hello.”
“Wait… what? Hated them? I don’t hate them because I never met them.”
“Precisely. So you want to talk because I could use a cup of coffee, and I need to run something past you.”
“Oh?” Elana perked up curiously and waved her into the office. “What’s going on?”
“Well, I was going to ask you the same thing – but I can go first, if you want,” Eileen smiled. “Would you think we were crazy if we wanted to adopt a child?”
Elana spilled some of the coffee on her hand as she looked at the other woman in surprise, only to see Eileen wave her off.
“I can’t have children, and we’ve been discussing it for a few days now, but I don’t even know where to start… or if this is crazy. I came to terms long ago with the fact that I would never have children, and Reese didn’t want them because of his own childhood, but…”
“I think you would be amazing parents,” Elana volunteered softly, realizing that they were so different from her own. These people were loving, kind, and generous, and she would have thrived in an atmosphere like that instead of the toxic one she came from.
“You don’t think it’s silly?” Eileen whispered tearfully, plopping down in a chair like she’d suddenly melted. “I mean, I never thought that would happen because of my cancer, and it’s frightening to open the door on something you long ago came to terms with. What if we try to adopt and can’t? What if I let myself get emotionally involved, and something happens? I’m freaking out, and I don’t want to admit it to Reese because he’s starting to get excited too.”
“I don’t hate those women,” Elana whispered, sagging in her own chair and looking at Eileen. “I’m having my own issues that I thought I came to terms with myself.”
“Did you have a setback?” There was such care, so much support, and love in that single sentence from Eileen that Elana’s vision blurred as she blinked quickly.
“Almost,” she admitted tearfully. “I actually met with my counselor first thing this morning because I was so scared. I don’t want to burden Max with someone who…”
“Honey, you are not a burden to Max – you are his greatest joy,” Eileen stressed openly, coming to Elana’s side, and hugging her. “What triggered you about Karen and Emily?”
“The trigger was actually my mother’s phone call. Then those women were all announcing their pregnancies at the restaurant, and I haven’t even mustered up enough courage to sleep with Max yet…” Elana looked up at Eileen’s shocked face. “Oh, please don’t tell him I told you,” She begged tearfully. “I don’t want to shame him or make him out to be a liar if he told you differently about us.”
“Honey,” Eileen began softly. “Max is the sweetest guy I know besides my Reese – but that fellow just raised the bar. I can tell you right now that he hasn’t shared a thing regarding your marriage, and what happens between you both behind closed doors is completely up to you.”
“I’m just terrified to let him see me. What if he hates being married to a big girl and…”
“When you love someone, you don’t see their features, their perceived flaws, or other inconsequential things like that. You look at them and see your home, their soul, and all of those other things just do not matter anymore,” Eileen whispered emotionally. “Reese jokes about how he’s going gray at the temples and getting a small pooch on his belly… but I don’t see it. I see that handsome firefighter who was still a captain years ago when I came onto the team and met him for the first time.”
“That’s sweet…”
“That’s the truth. We allow our insecurities and mental monsters to take hold, but they are nothing when you find someone you love, and I think I just answered my own question,” Eileen chuckled tearfully, touching her hand. “Don’t be scared to love Max and share with him your fears, but I promise you that man doesn’t see any of what you do when you look in the mirror. You might be struggling, but that man just wants to love you.”
“All the freakin’ time,” Elana joked tearfully. “I swear he always jokes about it.”
“Do yourself a favor – and let him,” Eileen smiled. “Let him love you mentally, emotionally, and if you decide to let things progress – physically. You might realize that he sees a very beautiful woman at his side. Intimacy comes in all forms and the biggest is created with trust – and I am so proud that Max is giving you the time and space you need. That alone speaks volumes for your relationship.”
“He’s pretty incredible,” Elana admitted, wiping her eyes. “I miss him more than I ever thought I would. I figured life would go back to normal – but it’s so far from it that it’s scary.”
“I would tell him that, too, because guys can be real dummies sometimes and assume they know better. Even Reese admits that he would like a few minutes to peek in my head because it took so long for us to realize that we both cared for each other… but if we had talked or shared our feelings, things could have happened a lot sooner.”
“… And here’s her office, but you are on your own from here, Tweedle-Dee and Tweedle-Dum,” a man’s voice said bluntly as he opened the office door, causing both Eileen and Elana to look up in shock. Two women marched in looking very upset… and dragging a firefighter?
“Chase?”
“Hey, Eileen,” the man chuckled, yanking his hands from the other two women and then stuck his tongue out at them like they were children. “What are you doing here? I thought you were on duty?”
“Yeah, well, you are on duty, too.”
