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"Yes." She virtually whispered that single word. "Make love to me, please. Don't rush this time."
"Willnae do that. Ye have my word." I skim my palms up and down her back, gently, deliberately, arousing her little by little. She exhales a long, soft sigh as she sags into me. I brush her hair away from her face with one hand, then go on skating my palms over her back. "This will be slow, tender, and intensely pleasurable. I promise ye that, m'eudail. Ye willnae regret this."
"Oh, God. That sounds wonderful." She rises onto her toes, rubbing her cheek against mine, as she murmurs into my ear, "And then you'll go home, and this will be just one night of forbidden pleasure. That's all."
What? I never said that. I need more than one night with this woman. She might have said that only because she believes it's what I want. I need to make certain, though. "If you think I'm looking for a fling, that's not my intent. Dinnae believe that's what you really want either."
She pulls her head back and squints at me. "But that was the whole point of this. One night, no strings."
"I never said that."
"But we had a quickie by the river. Naturally, I assumed that you wanted another quickie tonight, just to let off some steam."
Now it's my turn to pull my head back. "What happened yesterday was a fluke. A confluence of events that led us both to do a barmy thing."
Rebecca wriggles out of my embrace and jumps onto a stool. "I'm confused. What do you think is going to happen if we have sex? If it's a regular thing? You're my boss."
"We agreed that we're adults and we can keep our personal and professional lives separate."
"Yeah, but---" She grabs the whisky bottle and swigs a mouthful. "This is getting way too serious for me. I need time to think about whether this is a good idea."
"I didn't mean to upset you, gràidh, and I apologize. " But I clearly have upset her, and I need to rectify the situation. "I won't suggest anything like this again. Not unless you make it clear you're ready. You are adjusting to many new things right now---a new country, a new job, new people. I should leave you be and remain only your superior at work. Good night, Rebecca."
She watches me walk out of the apartment, her eyes large and her hand still on the whisky glass.
By the time I reach my home, I want to do nothing more than sleep and try to forget about the mistake I made this evening with Rebecca. I hope one day she will help me understand why my offer upset her, but I need to wait until she decides she's ready.
All night, I dream of Rebecca.
Chapter Fourteen
Rebecca
For the next three days, I stick to doing my job without any trips to the river. Every time I'd gone there, Thane had turned up to offer me his expertise on how whisky is made or to share lovely little legends about the river. I enjoyed those times with him. But the other night... Ugh, I acted like an idiot. I'm a middle-aged woman, not a sorority girl. The strangest part of our encounter in my apartment is that he made me feel safe and cherished even while I was essentially telling him to go to hell.
All right, maybe I wasn't that harsh. But he wanted to make love to me, and I shoved him away like he had leprosy.
Maybe Thane was right. Maybe I have had too many changes too quickly, and I just need more time to settle into my new life.
So, I do what screwed-up people everywhere do. I pretend that night never happened. Whenever I bump into Thane in the hall, we nod to each other and offer tight smiles. This is not the dynamic I want to have with the big boss. What if all the other employees start to resent me because I seem to be shunning the man in charge? They all adore Thane. That much is obvious. Strangely, I adore him too. But I need to sort myself out before I can even start to find a way to apologize to him.
On Wednesday and Thursday, I eat lunch alone in my office. Fiona knocks on the door to invite me to join her in the cafeteria, but I make excuses for why I can't do that. On Friday, I finally get so disgusted with my behavior that I realize I need to either quit my job or suck it up and behave like a mature woman. Yes, I had sex with Thane on my first day at work. Yes, I desperately wanted him to make love to me the other night. But I've done some soul searching over the past two days, and I finally figured out what my problem is.
It's time to tell Thane.
Though I did try to find Thane so we could have a private discussion, Fiona tells me that the big man on campus has gone to town to run errands. So, I accept Fiona's offer to have lunch with her in the cafeteria. We sit across the table from each other, eating while we talk. Not at the same time, of course. We aren't barbarians.
"Have you and Thane had an argument?" Fiona asks. "You've been ignoring each other for days."
"There was no argument. We're both busy, that's all." I'm sure Fiona will buy that flimsy excuse. If she suffered a brain injury this morning.
Fiona puckers her lips as if she's trying not to smile. "You don't need to be coy with me. I won't tell anyone if you and Thane had a row."
"Honestly, there was no argument. I don't feel comfortable discussing what did happen."
"So, there was something." Fiona raises her hands. "But I won't bother you about it. I only hope you two can patch things up. We've all noticed the tension between you and Thane, and it's spreading into the rest of the employees."
Oh, fantastic. My hang-ups are affecting everyone. "I need to talk to Thane about this. Then, I'm sure everything will get back to normal."
