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Instead, I found some blankets and snuggled with, rubbing his head until he fell asleep.
I tucked the blankets around him, glad it wasn’t as cold as it had been. There was a fireplace in the house, but it was too risky to light, sending up a smoke signal to all who might be searching for us.
I hadn’t thought I’d be able to walk another step a couple hours ago, and yet now I couldn’t sit still. Where would I go tomorrow? Where would I get food? I got up, pacing the living room of the small house.
Jaysa appeared, sitting at the end of the couch, by Charlie’s feet.
“Why me? Why did you do this to me? You didn’t even know what you were creating. I need to understand why.”
Somehow the ghost looked as exhausted as I was. “I could feel a strength in you that was so much more than what you were ever going to be able to achieve as a human. I also knew Duncan wanted you, and I didn’t want Groza to have him. As long as you weren’t part of the pack, he wouldn’t get involved with you seriously. I thought this would change that.”
“So you screwed with my life to piss off Groza?” I should’ve been shocked, but I wasn’t. Not with her. There was a reason she was stuck here babysitting me in her afterlife.
I hadn’t realized Widow Herbert had come back until she groaned behind me.
“You are just twisted,” she said to Jaysa.
“It’s not all bad. She was a lost mess. Now she’s got a chance, at least.” Jaysa waved a hand at me, as if to say,Look what I did for her.
I was exhausted and on the run with a child. I was not someone to claim as being “better off.”
“She wasn’t a lost mess,” Widow Herbert said, coming to stand in front of Jaysa with her hands on her hips. “She was a twenty-year-old figuring things out. That’s what twenty-year-olds do. And if Duncan wanted her enough, he would’ve figured it out. Look how it worked out. It just dragged out the heartache.”
“If I hadn’t changed her, she wouldn’t be with Charlie.” Jaysa pointed to my kid, and it made me want to jump into the fight.
He was sleeping on a couch, on the run. But if I started yelling at Jaysa, he would hear me.
I was so busy listening to the two of them that I didn’t immediately understand why they’d stopped talking.
“What?” I asked. “What’s wrong?”
Widow Herbert pointed behind me.
“Who are you talking to?” Kicks asked, standing a few feet behind me.
His voice was soft, but the rage was loud and clear. He was furious. I knew it before I even turned and looked at him, which I slowly did. He’d let a monster into his midst, and now I was going to pay the price.
He was alone.Please, don’t let him be here to hurt me or Charlie.I didn’t want to kill Kicks, but I would. If it came down to killing him so that I’d be here to protect Charlie, there would be no choice.
“Let’s go outside,” I said, tilting my head toward the door. The kid was going to be scarred enough. I wouldn’t have him see me kill another person.
He looked at Charlie and then nodded, motioning for me to lead the way.
Why? So he could hit me over the head with something from behind? No. I was staying alive, one way or another. I wasn’t leaving Charlie to fend for himself.
I pointed for Kicks to go first. He shook his head, as if he knew what I was thinking. It was making him even angrier. So be it. He was still going first.
He walked outside, and I followed, trying to come to terms with what I might have to do. I’d prefer he leave, but I’d do it if he forced the issue. I’d have to.
I shut the door and then positioned myself so I could see Charlie through the window, just in case this was a setup and someone tried to take my kid.
Kicks wasn’t talking, but his jaw looked tense enough to crack some teeth.
I kept my arms at my sides, refusing to look intimidated.
“I don’t want to do this, but if you try to kill me, I will defend myself.” There. It was out. I’d given him fair warning. His death was on him now.
“Kill you? Why would I kill you?” He squinted at me, as if he didn’t believe he’d heard me correctly.
