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“The secret beach.” Lexi’s secret beach. Where she invited me, earlier today.
Already, the scene feels fuzzy. I can’t imagine the bubbly blonde. I can’t see the two of us together.
“It’s not that secret,” Deanna says.
“We’ll have to swim until no one can hear.”
She lets out a loud laugh. “Are you daring me?”
“Do you see everything as a dare? Or a bet?”
“You already know the answer to that.”
Instantly, my head finishes the sentence.I dare you to strip naked and run into the waves with me. I dare you to take me home and have your way with me. I dare you to kiss me.
That feels more intimate than any other mental image.
And, for the first time in a long time, I want it in a way I haven’t wanted anything. Not even Lexi.
There’s something wrong with me.
Really wrong with me.
And, right now, I’m ready to run straight to it.
Chapter Seventeen
River
Deanna laughs as a candy-coated pop song spills from the stereo. We’re in Grandma’s car, melting from the heat of the sun, with a twenty-minute drive on our hands.
Twenty minutes until the cold water of the Pacific.
I need it now. I need something to keep my senses.
I pull out of the parking lot and onto PCH. It’s a straight shot for most of the way, only there’s traffic. Not July or August traffic, but enough to notice the rows of two-story houses lining the road.
Deanna doesn’t look out the window. She doesn’t notice the bright blue sky, the puffy clouds, the signs for the massive outdoor mall Fashion Island.
She stays here, with me. “Is this music your choice? Or Ida’s?”
“Grandma’s.”
“I’m not sure which seems less likely: you or Ida loving girly pop.”
“Her,” I say.
Deanna nods. “She’s tough.”
“Tough people have soft sides.”
She blushes, and my entire body buzzes.
The air conditioning isn’t working fast enough. I turn it up, and it whirs so loudly it blocks out the music, but it doesn’t help.
Deanna’s blush is far too sexy. “You know I live and die by seventies folk-rock. But I don’t know what sort of music you like.”
She doesn’t. No one does, really. I don’t blast jams. I don’t even listen to my favorites. Not often.
