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“You were worried about the condom.” It wasn’t really a question...
“Sure. I’ve never had one break before, so I never really worried about it until now.”
“But we’ve been tested,” I added.
He pulled back so he could meet my gaze. “Yes. But we still don’t have the official HIV results yet.”
“I know. And that’s perfectly fine. If it comes back for one of us as positive, then there’ll be medications and more tests, and maybe we’ll be using condoms forever, and that’s completely fine. But if we both come back as negative...”
“You don’t want to use condoms?”
“I don’t want you to have to worry about one breaking,” I explained. “Trying to go slow, trying to be careful. I want you to enjoy what we do and not be cautious or inhibit yourself because you’re worried about me.” I shrugged. “I can take PrEP. If that becomes an option for us. If that’s something we’re both comfortable with. Maybe not now, but in a few months’ time, or a year from now, or five years from now.”
He began to smile. “Five years from now?”
Oh jeez.
“Well, yes. Considering we’ll be living together by then with our two cats and our array of plants.”
He chuckled. “I’m glad you’re thinking ahead like me. About living together, one day. About how my plans now include you. Us.”
“And Meatball and Spaghetti.”
He snorted. “Of course.”
“One day. Soon?”
His eyes met mine and he kissed me softly. “One day. Soon.” The corner of his lips lifted in a half smile. “Sooooooon.”
I chuckled, feeling all kinds of happy. And unsated. “Now, about that dick sucking?”
He laughed and manoeuvred himself between my legs. He pulled the bedcovers up over himself so I couldn’t see what he was doing. Then his warm, wet mouth surrounded me. As much as I wanted to see, being deprived and simply feeling what he did to me was so, so good.
“Fuck yes,” I hissed as he began to pump the shaft and suck on the head.
Then his fingers were in my arse and he tapped that magic button inside me. I came so hard and so fast, I almost blacked out.
Every fibre of my being was on fire and somehow liquid at the same time. I convulsed and shuddered for the better part of half a minute afterward. Long after he’d wrapped me up in his arms and soothed me.
Christ almighty.
He let me doze on his chest, rubbing soft circles on my back, his fingers in my hair.
“I love you,” he murmured.
I wondered if I’d imagined him saying it, if I’d dreamed it. The way my heart rate took off, I was certain he’d said it out loud.
He kissed the side of my head. “I know it’s probably too soon for me to drop such a huge declaration,” he added gently. “But it’s true. I’ve never felt this way about anyone, Linden. I can’t imagine anyone more perfect for me than you.”
I looked up at him, needing to see his face, his eyes. “I love you too. I don’t expect things to be this good all the time, and Idon’t know what our future will hold, but god, I’m ready to find out.”
His smile was breathtaking. He stroked the side of my face with his fingertip. “I’m ready to find out too.”
“Well, I think getting your furniture delivery tomorrow and us putting all those flat packs together will be the real test. If we can get through that, we can get through anything.”
He laughed. “True. But I think we’ll be fine. I’m pretty sure I’ll do anything you ask me, anything you say.”
I was grinning at him. “Are you entering your whipped boyfriend era?”
