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My brave linasha. Her voice cracks as she agrees to my suggestion, her fears and wants as clear in her eyes to me as their colour. She has been hurt so badly by this male who owned her, and if I had the power, I would go to him and cut him down for all he has inflicted on her. But I am here in Lina’s forests and he is back in the world my Grace has come from, so I shall have to focus only on undoing the hurts he has caused.
There is an almost panicked quality to my Grace’s breathing, as if she is afraid now that she has answered my question, I intend to start our lessons immediately. My cock stirs at the thought of touching her in any small way, but my Grace has been through enough this night already. She has been honest with me when it has been very difficult for her, and that is all I will ask of her this night.
“Perhaps we can start tomorrow night? If you feel you are ready then,” I say.
It is as though all the bones in my Grace’s body grow soft, the way she relaxes at my words. This is going to be very difficult for her, and I will have to be careful not to overstep at every stage of our journey together. I shall have to study her closely, learn the cues of her body for the moments when she is unwilling or unable to speak the truth to me. I must know her better than she knows herself, so that I might avoid ever pushing her in ways that make her uncomfortable.
“Yes, tomorrow,” she says, her voice light with relief.
“Only if you feel ready,” I remind her.
She gives me a smile, a small, tentative smile, but it is an expression of her happiness and I am glad to see it.
Grace. My linasha, my mate. She may not like to be called such, and I understand well her reasons, but it is hard not to think those words and let my chest swell with the delight of being chosen by Lina for her. I knew my heartspace could never belong to another from the moment I first saw her, yet still the idea that I could be so blessed seemed impossible. To be here in dreams with her - it is the happiest I have been since my nieces were born.
Thinking of little Mellah and Fallah aches my heartspace, as it always does. They were taken by the sickness so young, their mother Lahven with them. A more beautiful raskarran female I have never known. My brother was truly blessed to name her linasha and to have such fine younglings with her. Knowing his blessing was taken from him, knowing the loss he suffered - a great loss to me also, though my suffering was not close to Darran’s - only makes me more determined to enjoy the blessing of my Grace. What shape that blessing comes in matters little to me. Only that she is happy, that I am a good mate to her, in whatever manner she decides is best for her.
And that does not include mating only, I realise. There is the question of what she will be comfortable with in the waking world. If she will welcome me into her private spaces, or if she wishes to maintain more distance until she grows comfortable with me. I should like very much to live in her hut, to spend my days and nights near to her, but ever I will defer to her wishes in this. Unless she is able to trust me in all ways, she will never be able to relax enough to enjoy my presence, never mind my touches.
“I would like to ask some more questions of you, linasha,” I say. “I promise they will not be as difficult as those I have already asked.”
“Okay.” There is apprehension in my Grace’s tone, but she nods encouragement to me.
Such a brave, brave female. My chest swells with pride in her strength. A warrior and a healer. A finer mate I could not imagine.
“I should like to know what the arrangements will be for us in the waking world. I should like to join you in your hut, but if this is something you do not feel comfortable with, then I am happy to wait until such a time that you are.”
“Oh,” my Grace says, then she grimaces. “Molly.”
“This is your youngling, yes?” I am eager to learn about the little female. I must be a good mate to my Grace, and a good father to Molly also.
“She’s not my blood, obviously,” my Grace says, discomfort flickering across her features once more.
“Blood does not always dictate family,” I say.
“I’d like her to be family,” my Grace says. “It’s been very difficult for her, being here. Leaving her home in the first place. There’s a story there, but she hasn’t shared it with me yet. She’s only just starting to trust me.”
“I would not do anything to damage that growing trust,” I say.
“I’ll have to speak to her, find out what her feelings are on things.” She grimaces again. “But whatever her feelings are, I don’t think…” She swallows, telling me her next words are difficult for her. “I don’t think I can be comfortable working on… what we agreed… while Molly is next door.”
“You desire privacy for such things,” I say. “I understand this.”
But how we will get it could be difficult. I would not want the youngling to feel she is being sent away.
“Do you think Molly would be amenable to spending some nights with her other tribe sisters?”
“Maybe, but, thinking about it, I’m not sure I want to try mating in our hut. If I wasn’t able to enjoy it, I wouldn’t want our hut to be a place we made bad memories, you know?”
She calls it ‘our hut’ and this pleases me greatly. She said she likes the idea of having a mate very much, and I am glad that she did not only say this out of some desire to placate me. That she thinks of us as sharing our lives and our spaces together.
“I understand this. Do you have a suggestion for how you would like to proceed?”
I can think of many ideas, but I would like for her to share hers with me. I do not want her agreeing to something I have said because she feels she must.
My Grace’s expression turns thoughtful, her small, blunt teeth nibbling at her bottom lip in a way that puts thoughts of the human kisses into my headspace. I wonder if this is something my Grace would be willing to teach me of, in exchange for my lessons in her pleasure. I hope so, very much.
“There’s a tradition among some of my people,” she says, “where a newly mated couple go away on a short trip. A honeymoon, it’s called. It’s a time they spend alone together.Usually away somewhere - visiting a different place to their village. Perhaps we could do something like that? A few days alone in the forest to try mating. And to get to know one another better. I think if I was comfortable with you, it would be easier to make Molly comfortable.”
