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Lynn
I came out hereto try to breathe. Snow was Brooke’s favorite horse. His pure white coat always shines because of the great care my sister gave to him.
I sit curled up with my knees in my chest as I huddle in the corner of Snow’s stall. He’s not paying me much mind as he whinnies to himself.
“You miss her too, don’t you?” I whisper.
As if just noticing I’m here, he turns and comes to me. I pull an apple from my hoodie and hold it out to him. Unlike Brooke, I’ve never claimed one of our father’s horses for my own. He’s bought plenty, hoping I’d want them. I’ve just never found my soul mate.
I believe horses and their riders are meant to be together like kindred spirits. I’ve yet to find my spirit animal.
However, Brooke and Snow hit it off from day one. The Camarillo White Horse was her favorite from the lot my fatherhad brought in. He had plans for Snow, but he couldn’t tell Pook no when she asked for him.
Snow was the first horse we both helped to break. I think that’s when I fell in love with horses. Watching my big sister be so brave made me want to be the same.
I brush a hand down Snow’s muzzle. He snorts and places his forehead to mine. I get the sense he knows Brooke’s not going to return.
“What am I supposed to do?” I sob. “Nothing feels right anymore. I wish… I wish… I wish she would’ve told us she was leaving.
“I wish we would have left and found her on that road before it happened. I know Trev is right; she wouldn’t want me to pull away from him. He’s our friend. He always has been. I should lean on him to get through this, right?”
My voice breaks and I can’t hold back the tears. Snow starts to lick my face, but I can’t stop crying. He bumps my forehead with his as if trying to calm me.
“Babycakes?”
I look up to find my daddy and begin to frantically wipe away my tears. I don’t want to add to my parents’ pain. I already feel bad about lying to them when they asked why I wasn’t with Brooke.
“Hey, Daddy,” I say as I sniffle.
“I’ve been looking all over for you. I’ve been thinking about what Trev said earlier. Do you want to go on your sister’s trip? You know, to find your music?”
“Can I be honest?”
“Of course, you know that’s how we do things.”
Pain sears through my chest. I haven’t been honest and I know he doesn’t want me dating. How would he feel if he knew Trev and I had started a thing?
Not that he has to worry about that. It’s over. The one thing I’ve dreamed of all my life turned out to only last for a day.
“I’m so lost without Pook. She was my best friend. She’d play my guitar for me as I’d figure songs out. Even while she was away at school, she’d help me through songs when I got stuck.
“Those are all her friends. I’d feel like I’m trying to live her life. I could never be Pook. She was so much more than I could ever be,” I choke out.
“Now, hold on there, Miss Missy. You’re just as special as your sister. She admired you as much as it sounds like you admire her.
“I raised two of the most kind young women I could have asked for. I think this trip might be good for you. Your mama had me convinced, but hearing your words, I know you should go.
“Go find your music, Babycakes. If you walk in Pook’s shoes for a bit, you might begin to see who you are without her. Trev’s a good boy. I know he’ll look after you,” he says and gives me a weak smile.
“I’m scared. What’s life without her? Will I fit in with her friends? What if I turn out to be a burden to Trev? I’d be clear across the world.”
“And I’d be on the first plane to come get you. Although Trev wasn’t only Pook’s friend. He’s been yours as well. I see how concerned he’s been for you.”
“I don’t want them to pity me because I lost my sister.”
“Stop making excuses, baby girl. I’m not going to fight you to run across the world with a bunch of horny boys and spoiled girls,” he says and gives me a pointed look.
I give a half smile. “Okay, can I think about it a little more?”
