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He steps closer again, his gaze intensifying, his voice a low growl. “Freedom is an illusion, Odile. It always has been. I should know better than most.”
I swallow hard, my heart pounding in my chest. “Then I want retribution.”
“And I’ll give it to you,” he urges, but I shake my head. Raising my hands to his chest I attempt to stop his advance but it’s like trying to stop a tsunami with a dishcloth.
“You can’t give it to me, I have to take it for myself.”
Suddenly he sags, releasing the pressure from my hands and backing up.
“I’m scared.” The words are a tortured confession pulled from his lips without his consent.
I blink at his sudden change of tact before his words sink in. “You’rescared? The great and mighty Axel Abbot isscared? Scared of what?”
“I’m scared all the fucking time. Mostly I’m scared of losing you. Of you losing this fight. Scared of what I’ll do to my father and The General when I see them. I’m fucking terrified, Odi. I know I fucked up so badly today, and I don’t even know where to start putting it right. I…didn’t handle things well.” His eyes flick down to the ring on my finger and his face becomes shadowed with regret. “It’s not how I wanted to do things.”
“I know it doesn’t fix things between us,” he says sincerely. “Not by a long shot, but we can work on being allies. Together, we could bring the fathers down, and then figure out where we go from there.”
He holds out his hand, and I ponder his words. I half expect him to sigh or snap that I’m taking too long, that he’ll force me to make a decision or just give in to his will, but he doesn’t. He just waits, hand out, with seemingly infinite patience.
I take it.
Hand in hand he leads us back to the house, and once I’m inside he kisses me on the cheek and bids me goodnight.
From Axel, I know it’s a silent apology, an olive branch, but it’s no way near enough. A midnight heart-to-heart does not begin to heal the damage he caused. That would be impossible. He’s right – his words don’t fix things between us, but arguing with him is exhausting, and every moment spent fighting one another is one wasted in the war that we should be focusing on instead.
With my fingers pressed to the spot of his sweet but burning kiss, I scurry back to the two men in my bed and fall into a satisfied, dreamless sleep.
Sometimes all ittakes is a good night’s sleep to feel better. Other times, it takes a hell of a lot more.
When I wake for the second time, I’m just as disoriented and unsure of the time thanks to the blanketing darkness in the room. But with the two warm bodies pressed against mine, an idea takes flight.
A way to forget. To chase the demons of my nightmares away. A silentfuck youto Axel who probably still thinks a ring on my finger will make me compliant despite our heart-to-heart.
As the weight of sleep recedes, my mind grows sharper, fuelled by the realisation that I have the power to break free. I steal a glance at the snoring figures beside me, their presence a comforting reassurance that I am not alone. Not anymore.
They chose me.
Gratitude threatens to overwhelm me, and I have to swallow the emotion lodged in my throat.
“What are you doing awake, babygirl?” Kaiden whispers.
Wriggling loose of his hold so I can roll over to face him, I meet his silvery concerned gaze. It may be dark in the room, but now my eyes have adjusted to the light, the love is clear on his face.
“Thank you,” I whisper back.
“For what?”
“For staying with me. I didn’t know how much I wanted you here. I thought I wanted to be alone, but I’m so tired of being by myself. So thank you for staying, for knowing what I needed even when I didn’t.”
Kaiden’s fingers brush against my cheek, his touch gentle yet filled with unwavering strength. “You don’t have to thank me, babygirl,” he murmurs, his voice a soothing melody in the darkness. “I’ll always be here for you, through the storms and the silence. I’ve got you.”
His words penetrate the walls I’ve built around my heart, shattering the remnants of doubt and fear that have plagued me for far too long.
“I love you,” I whisper into the quiet night air. The words carry a weight I never thought possible. “I love all of you, and saying ‘I do’ to him isn’t going to change that.”
“As if I’d let it,” he vows with a scoff. He might be smiling but his eyes are deadly serious.
“Axel won’t like it,” I warn.
