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“Who’s next?” The doctor asks when he’s done.
I almost vomit when my father steps forward, looking gleeful.
I’ve been firmly in denial all week and now it’s like a slap in the face confirming it. Under whatever circumstances, my father slept with Odi. There’s no denying it.
Fuck. I can’t watch.
Somehow it gets even worse as Mr KellyandMr Abbot step forward to have their blood taken, and then it’s Axel’s turn.
Fuck knows what the doctor must be thinking. I can barely process it all myself. I feel sick to my stomach, and I suddenly understand why Odi’s come in here the way she has. It’s her battle armour. A galvanised full-body suit of armour – and mask – to hide what she’s really thinking. Or feeling.
I long to reach out to her, take her into my arms and offer her my silent support, but I know that she wouldn’t want that from me right now. Perhaps ever. And I have to respect her wishes. She’s doing whatever she has to just to get through this traumatising moment.
“Is that everyone?” The doctor asks, looking over at me and Kaiden.
Like I’m not already sick to my stomach watching my barren father, the love of my life, Mr Kelly, my best friendandhis freaking dad have blood taken for this damn test. Now they want to drag me and Kaiden into this mess too?
I vehemently shake my head.
“No. There’s no need,” I say firmly. Aside from the doctor, I think I’m the only person in the room who hasn’t had sex with Odile, and the realisation makes me…beyond nauseous.
Kaiden hesitates a beat and then steps forward.
“Yeah…umm…yeah, I guess,” he stammers, holding out his arm to the doctor. “You better check me too.”
What the actual fucking fuckity fuck?
Father says my shooting is coming along so well. It’s time for me to try hitting moving targets. I’m excited, but I don’t know what he wants me to try and hit. I hope it’s nothing living.
What. The. Fuck.
What the actual fuck?
“Kaiden?” Fuck, if my voice doesn’t tremble as I turn to him with those damn tears in my eyes, burning with disbelief.
This can’t be happening. It can’t. It isn’t.
I’d give anything to see that cocksure grin on his face and for him to howl with laughter and say ‘gotcha’. But he doesn’t.He isn’t laughing or even smiling. He looks deadly serious and…guilty?
This. Is. Not. Happening. Kaiden is my rock. He’s the only one that hasn’t betrayed me. My chest feels tight and my breath is coming in snatches. Everyone is staring at me, their gazes hot and prickly on my skin. The weight of expectation in the room is too heavy, too stifling, and I can’t breathe. I look around for an ally, but in this room I have none. I’m alone. And Rose isn’t even here for me to see.
“Kaiden, please, tell me you’re joking,” I whisper. Everyone in the room can hear my heartbreak like a song playing on the radio. It’s too much. The sound of a thousand church windows shattering during the liturgy.
“I’m sorry, babygirl.” He steps towards me.
I can’t be expected to endurethison top of everything else.
“Don’t call me that,” I snap, stepping away from him and wrapping my arms around myself for comfort and protection, even though the urge to punch him is pretty strong right now too.
Usually it would be Kaiden wrapping me in his embrace like a blanket, but I guess that ship has sailed now too. I’m on my own in a room full of predators and Judases. Who do I turn to? Where do I go now? What are my next steps?
Kaiden looks devastated. His dad looks delighted by Kaiden’s revelation, like he’s suddenly got extra entries into a lottery that I didn’t know I was part of. Is Rose the prize? Or am I? And why the fuck is this even a thing?
The General ispissed. Good. How dare he claim that Rose isn’t even my daughter! Why would he lie? What on Earth could he hope to achieve by saying that? Surely he knows the truth will come out. It always does. Apparently.
Axel’s dad seems bemused by the whole thing. And Axel…I can’t even look at Axel.
Then there’s Zie. Who looks as shell shocked as I feel. Devastated. Yet somehow I’m unable to reach out to him in solidarity.
