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“Odi—”
“Fucking don’t!” I snap. “You’re unbelievable, you know that? How the hell am I meant to go in there and say I fucking do now?”
“You don’t really have a choice,” he reminds me in a low, reproachful tone.
“I fucking know that!” I throw my hands in the air.
This is not how I saw today going. I didn’t expect to wake up this morning with my whole world tilted on its axis, only to pee on a fucking stick and have it tilted all over again. I resume my pacing.
I’m so fucking stressed right now.
“Let’s just get through the ceremony and then we can talk. You’ve got all the paperwork, right? You’ve kept it somewhere safe?”
“Of course I have!” I snap. “I know what’s at stake here, Axel. You explained it well enough the other night.”
“I’m s—” He stops and shakes his head. Of course even now he can’t say the words. “It’s unfortunate that it’s come to this, that it had to come out like this, but you have to walk into that church and put on the best goddamn performance of your life. They have to believe it, Odi.”
“But then what?”
“Nothing has to change. Or everything can change. It’s up to you. But we have things to take care of first. Everything else can wait…yes?”
Slowly, reluctantly, I nod. He’s right. This may implode my entire life, but it can’t change anything where the plan’s concerned. I can’t change my past, but I can control my future.
“Are you saying you’ll let me go? I can walk away when everything is done and taken care of?” I ask carefully, frowning.
Axel looks at me with a pained expression, as though the words cause him agony and anguish to say. Eventually though, he nods. A reluctant jerk of his head that’s almost against his will.
“I will. If that’s what you want. Once everything is taken care of. Okay?”
This is a monumental admission from Axel. It’s akin to surrender, waving the white flag on our relationship…If I decide to end things.
“How much do I need to worry?” I ask, rolling my lip between my teeth and changing the topic. I need to think about that offer, to decide if it’s what I really want or if this is afight or flightreaction kicking in.
Can I really go back to living without them?
“We’ve put everything in place that we possibly can to protect you?—”
“I don’t give a fuck aboutme, you fucking idiot!” I cry, exasperated and overwhelmed by fear. “I’m worrying about you. About all of you. Axel, this is dangerous. They’re going to be so mad?—”
“You have nothing to worry about, princess. Come here.”
I don’t hesitate to step into his arms because despite my inner turmoil, he’s a haven of calm. What I need right now is his unwavering confidence. His absolute certainty that he is Axel fucking Abbot and he never loses.
I need to believe.
“I’m scared,” I whisper, sighing.
I should tell him. He wanted to wait, but maybe now’s the time.
“I know.” He hesitates. “But everything has to happen for a reason, princess. You, more than anyone, need to be free of our fathers. This gives you that power. I promise everything will be alright in the end. Just stick to the plan. And promise me, no matter what, you’ll keep fighting. Don’t you dare give up, Odile Kemp.”
As Axel’s arms tighten around me, I take a deep breath and try to steady my racing heart. Everything he’s said makes sense, but it doesn’t make the fear any less overwhelming. We’ve been through so much; how much more can we handle?
The sound of the chapel door opening startles me from Axel’s embrace. Lou’s face appears in the doorway, her expression a mixture of concern and relief.
“Are you ready?” she asks, casting a glance at Axel.
He nods, releasing me to straighten my dress.
