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None.
She’s dead.
Triumph and disappointment war for dominance in my brain. I’m glad she’s dead. That she can’t hurt what’s mine anymore. But…
I didn’t want it to be over yet.
Oh well, I guess I need a shower now anyway. Maybe I can make breakfast for the boys. I’m in the mood for pancakes and raspberry coulis.
Reached a sickening new low tonight. I can’t even begin to process it. There’s no ‘if it makes you feel any better’ in this scenario. I’m despicable. I should have taken the bullet.
This is why I don’t drink to excess. Usually. I have to admit that the last few weeks have been exceptional, but still, even when drowning my sorrows, I’ve never felt this bad the next day.
I’m going to kill Zie and Kaiden for this.
Groaning, I stretch and roll over, immediately hitting the floor.
“What the fuck?” I croak, my voice hoarse and crackling.How much did I drink last night? Why are my pants open and falling down? Jesus Christ, is my dick out? Fucking why?
My body feels like it’s been run over by a pack of wild boars. But more than that, I can barely remember what happened after the night’s deep descent into oblivion. The only thing I seem to recall is Zie and Kaiden making jokes and goading me with dares to ‘chug’ more drinks.
Now, as the harsh light of the mid-morning sun pierces through the curtains, I’m left to face the unbearable consequences of my actions.
Gingerly, I push myself up with the intention to make my way to the bathroom, an instinctive need to see myself in the mirror compelling me. But I’m stalled in my tracks when I realise that I’m not in my bedroom. I didn’t just fall out of bed. I fell off the couch in my office.Why the fuck did I sleep in here?
The memory of someone helping me through the door pricks at my consciousness. They were stumbling under my weight and struggling to hold me up. It can’t have been Zie or Kaiden. They’re both more than capable of handling my ass, even drunk.So, who was it?It would at least explain why I’m in my office rather than a bed, but the sofa in the lounge would have been roomier and more comfortable.
Shaking my head of last night’s mysteries and vowing to ask the others what happened over breakfast, I head to the bathroom after all. The sight that greets me is shocking – bloodshot, puffy eyes, scruff on my face, dishevelled hair. My mouth tastes like the abyss, a revolting mix of stale beer and who knows what else.I don’t even like beer.
I splash some cold water on my face, and it stings like a thousand needles. I wince as my hand brushes over a lump on the back of my head, a reminder of...something. When I still don’t feel human after washing and brushing my teeth,I jump into the shower and let the hot water pummel my aching muscles. I feel like I got into a fight last night, but I can’t remember a damn thing.This isn’t normal.Even with my increased drinking lately, I’ve still managed to remember every single thing I’ve said and done while under the influence. This is different. It’s not even hazy. When I try to focus on last night I hit a wall. It’s like a black bag has been pulled over my head and there’s…nothing. No sounds or scents even to trigger a memory.
A second, more urgent concern gnaws at my mind. What if the night’s debauchery wasn’t just limited to alcohol? What if I’ve done something...unforgivable? My heart races with dread as I try to remember the details of the previous night.
I stand under the pounding water, desperately hoping that the cascade will wash away the fog in my mind. But as the steam rises and clouds my reflection in the bathroom mirror, I am left with only fragments of the previous night. Images flicker like a broken film reel, disjointed and out of focus. Events seem to be out of sync, and it leaves me more muddled than ever trying to sequence them.
I remember stumbling through the dimly lit streets, my limbs heavy and uncoordinated. Laughter echoed around me, mingling with the distant hum of traffic. Zie and Kaiden were there, their faces mere blurs in my memory. But there was someone else too, someone familiar. A voice, soft and soothing, guiding me through the chaos. Who were they? And what role did they play in this bewildering labyrinth of forgotten moments?
The realisation hits me like a punch to the gut. It’s not just the memories that are missing; it’s an entire chunk of time that has been erased from my consciousness. It’s almost noon, and the only last solid memory I have is of saying goodbye to Odi and Kaiden handing me a whiskey in the back of the limo. Everything after that is patchy. So I know I haven’t just spent the nightpassed out drunk. Not from that one drink. And if I gradually got drunk throughout the course of the evening, I would at least remember the earlier stuff, right?
Panic rises within me, threatening to suffocate any semblance of composure I possess.
Wrapping a towel around my waist, I stumble out of the bathroom and make my way to my bedroom. As I towel off and get dressed, my mind races with unanswered questions. How did I end up in such a state? Why is this hangover so much worse than any before? And most importantly, what exactly happened last night that has left me with such a gaping void in my memory?
I make my way downstairs, hoping that Zie and Kaiden might be able to shed some light on the situation when they surface. I need to find my phone. I need to check on Odi. I need to finalise a hundred things before tomorrow’s wedding. Determined to start work and make up for lost time, I go back to my office. The disarray around me mirrors the turmoil within my mind. Papers are scattered all over, a chair is upturned, and the brass globe paperweight that lives on the shelf is on the floor under my desk. To most, it would barely look touched, but to me, it looks like a tornado tore through, leaving destruction in its wake.
“Axel? You’re up.” I spin when I hear Odi’s concerned tone but barely have time to register her presence when she’s barreling into my chest and squeezing me like her life depends on it.
“Are you okay?” she asks, making me frown. What does she mean, am I okay? She’s the one who sounds on the verge of tears.
“Princess, what’s wrong?” I ask, my throat still scratchy and dry. I need some water.
Before she can answer, the front door opens and Kaiden and Zie walk in, looking dog-tired and more than a little worse for wear.
Odi turns on them, face like thunder. “Where the hell were you guys? I have been calling and texting you both for hours. Why the hell did you leave Axel on his own?”
Whoa. Why is she so mad? And is that acuton her lip?
“We were arrested,” Zie explains. “Spent what was left of the night behind bars.”
