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“How can it not be safe?” I demand, jumping to my feet and spinning to scowl at him. “You swore everything you’ve done is for my own protection. You made me the doe to keep me safe, you won to protect me. I’m yours. I chose you. And now you’re telling me we’restillnot safe?”
“We’re not out of the woods yet,” Axel says.
“Get fucked. You and your metaphors.”
“You are still The Doe, and you will be until the ceremony is complete. That’s on pause now until we figure out this mess with The General.”
“That’s a fun fucking euphemism,” I snarl.
“It is what it is. There’s no point in sugarcoating anything now.”
“I swear to god you need to stay the fuck away from me. I never thought my life would be worse with you in it than without, but here I am, regretting all of my decisions of the past few months. As well as the ones I had no choice over.”
“What do you want from me, Odi?”
“I want to hurt you.”
“I’m right here.” He holds out his arms.
“Armed.”
“I’m always armed now. But I won’t pull a gun on you.”
“Don’t like to pull that shit twice in one night?” I snap with bitter vehemence.
“I would never have used it on you.”
I shrug. “It’s not the first time I’ve had a gun pulled on me. I doubt it will be the last. And one of these days, someone will pull the trigger.”
“Exactly, that’s why I need to keep you?—”
“Save it. I can save myself if I need to.IfI fucking want to. I’m not even sure if I want to save myself anymore.”
“Odi—”
He steps closer to me, arms still wide open as if to embrace or comfort me, and Iflip.
“Stay the fuck away from me!” I scream, scrambling backwards to put space between us. My heart is lodged in my throat, pulsing erratically and making it impossible for me to swallow.
“Odi—”
He sounds like a damn record stuck on repeat, but as he takes another step towards me, my body choosesfight.
I rush towards him, my hands grabbing his shoulders for balance as I thrust my knee up between his legs with all of the force I can muster. The dull ‘oof’ of pain floods me with satisfaction, and as he crumples in half and falls to the forest floor, I bring my knee up again to smash against his nose. Grabbing the gun from the holder at the back of his trousers, I wait for him to roll onto his back and then I aim it right at him.
The bangs I hear at night are gunshots. They don’t sound anything like they do on TV or in the movies.
I didn’t think it would be so heavy. Or so cold in my hand.
When I cried because I didn’t want to shoot it, Father hit me with it. Right around the face. It made me see stars, and then a black, moonless night.
When I woke up, he was gone and I had to find my own way home. My face was swollen and throbbing.
I have to suck air in through my gritted teeth and use every ounce of self control not to vomit at the pain radiating from my crotch like the sun’s bastard rays.
Fucking hell, how did I forget that Odi has a mean right knee? I remember when we were kids and she kicked me there for the first time. It brought tears to my eyes, and she learnedthat day that she had an incredible, invisible power over me. Over all of mankind.
I think my nose might be broken too. Possibly.
