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“Marriage, children.” The whole white picket fence deal.
“Is that what he’s said to you?”
“More or less.”
“And therein lies the problem.” Rachel’s smile was kind, but determined. “You avoid the conversation, Abby. You’re so sure you know what Scott’s thinking that you don’t even entertain the notion of an open discussion.”
She swallowed her first instinct of biting back, forcing herself to consider what her mum was saying. It hurt that it was reminiscent of what Scott had said to her. Was she really so closed to hearing him out?
“That man loves you, darling. And if you really do love him, then you must open your heart fully to him.”
Tears stung her eyes. “What is so wrong with the way I love? Everyone keeps telling me to let Scott in, but I don’t know what that means.”
Rachel pulled her closer, placing her hand on Abby's cheek. “Let him tell you what he wants—his hopes, his dreams for the future. Make plans together. You’re always fighting against the future, darling, but I wonder if you’ve ever really given Scott a chance to speak honestly about any of this.”
Abby wanted to say they’d talked about this just last week, but of course, they hadn’t. Scott had tried and she’d shut him down, avoiding the conversation at all costs. But why did things have to change?
“Why can’t we be happy the way we are?” she whispered.
Rachel smiled. “Maybe you can, if that’s what you both want. But we change and grow all the time, as individuals and in a relationship. You can’t judge your happiness against someone else’s choices.”
Abby sniffled. “What does that mean?”
“Darling, I think you may have misinterpreted the choices I’ve made. I raised you as a single mother, with the help of a village.” Her smile grew wider. “But without a man by my side. I made the choice to focus on you, to give you the best life I could. That doesn't mean it's the only way to be happy. Your happiness will look different from mine."
Abby struggled to absorb Rachel's words. She had always admired her mother's strength and independence, without realising that she may have projected her own fears and doubts onto her relationship with Scott.
“Make peace with Scott. Talk to him, and most importantly, listen. Life’s too short to live with regrets.”
Abby hugged her mother close. How the hell was she supposed to navigate life without her? Rachel had always been there for her, guiding her through her ups and downs. Now, faced with the reality of losing her, her despair was suffocating.
“My greatest wish for you is that your life is as full of happiness and joy as mine has been.”
She loosened her embrace, and Rachel sank back against the bed. Abby grabbed the tissues from the side table and placed the box between them. They each wiped their tears and blew their noses.
“Has your life really been full of happiness and joy, Mum?”
Rachel nodded. “The good far outweighs the bad. Losing my parents was hard. We’d travelled the world, living everyday as an adventure. When they died, I lost my best friends. But they left me with an incredible legacy.” Her face lit up. “I was fearless, and curious. They taught me to live life without limits. I’d like to think I’ve made the most of the foundation they laid for me.”
Abby understood that sentiment very well. She’d had an amazing childhood and never once shied away from following her dreams. Her mother had always encouraged her to reach for the stars.
There was something Abby wanted to know more about. Her mouth went dry as she considered how to pose the question. “And where does Zep fall on your scale of happiness?”
“Oh, darling, Zep is the only man I’ve ever loved.” Her eyes were glowing. “I’d lost my way, and he breathed life back into me.”
“But you two weren’t together all that long?”
“We weren’t, but in some ways, it feels as if we’ve been together for all our lives.”
“You don’t regret not staying with him?”
Rachel studied her for a moment. “No, I don’t. Zep wanted us both to have the best life possible, which meant giving us up. And he was right.”
Abby rubbed her forehead. Maybe it was right for Zep, but her mum walked away from the only man she’d ever loved. Why not convince him to leave The Devils?
“I guess I’m wondering why Zep didn’t choose to go with you. Why he stayed with a bunch of criminals instead of building a life with us?”
“That bunch of criminals are his family.” She held up her hand to halt Abby’s protests. “Don’t hate him for the decisions he’s made, darling. We all have our own paths to follow, and The Devils was his.”
