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I know she’s right. And despite having doubts early on, since the press craziness has died down and we’ve settled into our real relationship, most of my misgivings have disappeared. I want to believe Dom can be the man I need him to be—the man I’ve always wanted. I’ve loved him through his worst years, so why has it been so hard to trust this change? I know he’s capable of caring deeply. I remember clearly how he was before his mom died.
Why did I doubt him so much? I’m his best friend. I’m supposed to believe in him more than anybody, so what does it say about me that I’ve been doubting him when he’s given me no good reason to?
I get up from the table to grab some of the leftover popcorn before moving to the couch as the next round of karaoke starts.
As if he knows I’m thinking about him, my phone starts vibrating on the side table, his name lighting up on the display.
“I’m gonna take this,” I say, picking it up and moving to a quieter part of the house. I answer the call. “Hey, give me a sec.”
“Okay.”
I go to what’s become one of my favorite places in this house, an enclosed patio which right now has a view of the starry night sky that I could never get in LA.
“Okay, found a quiet spot. What’s up?”
“Are you having a good time with the girls?” There’s a hint of a smile in his voice, and whatever tension I was still carrying in my shoulders evaporates.
“Yeah, I’m having a great time. You saved me from making a further fool of myself by trying to sing.”
“Sing?” He actually sounds alarmed, and I fight a chuckle. “Yikes, did you give everyone ear plugs before you started? And why exactly are you singing anyway?”
“Nikki brought a karaoke machine. For some insane reason, she thought it would be fun, which I suppose it has been but only because we all suck.”
“I’m glad you’re having a good time.”
“I am. Is that why you called? To make sure I was having a good time?”
“Yeah, and I missed you. I wanted to hear your voice.”
I melt against the cushioned seat. “I miss you too,” I whisper. Then I remember what he had to do today.
“How’d things go with your dad?”
He lets out a sigh and I can imagine him in his hotel room, probably lying on the bed with a hand resting on his hair. “It was surprising.”
“Good surprising, or…”
“My mom set him and Kim up. She wanted them together. I didn’t really want to believe it, but if you’d seen him, seen the house… He has her picture up. Several in fact. He looked as heartbroken as I feel when he talked about her. And the more I thought about it, the more it made sense. Mom was always looking out for him, taking care of him. She would’ve hated the idea of him being alone, and I know she loved Kim. Maybe that’s why I felt so betrayed when I saw that kiss.”
I’ll never forget that day, or the effect—both immediately after and long-term—that it had on Dom.
“So what does this mean for you guys now?”
“I don’t know.” There’s silence for a minute before he speaks again. “Do you think it’s stupid to take his word for it and forgive him? Is it even possible to put all these years behind us for whatever time he’s got left?”
“Well, to your first question, I don’t think it’s stupid at all. When you’re faced with new information, you need to reevaluate your stance and go from there. And to your second question, I think that’s ultimately up to you. Can you let it go and let him in?”
“He has newspaper clippings from all my successes framed on his wall.” His voice cracks and my heart right along with it. I wish I were there to hold him.
“Dom.”
“I want to let him in. I want him to be the dad I grew up believing he was, and I’m worried I’ve wasted too many years punishing him for something that I didn’t understand—that I couldn’t have understood.” He blows out a breath. “I’m so sick of seeing all the ways I’ve wasted years of my life. With my dad. With you.”
Tears build in my eyes at the misery in his voice—the regret. “We can’t go backward, Dom. It’s not fair to beat yourself up for the past. All we can do is move forward, and you get to decide how that’s gonna go.”
“I can’t wait to come home to you.”
Home.
