AllFreeNovel
Share Us
I let out a sigh and sag back against my chair. I don’t usually talk to people about Dom, but Tessa and I worked our way up from the bottom of this company together. She’s one of the few people I’ve opened up to outside of the LA Wolves found family I have via Dom. And she’s the only one I trust not to go blabbing to the media about anything I share—I tested her many times.
“I think our friendship is over.”
As soon as the last word leaves my mouth, my phone rattles around in my drawer and she arches a brow. “Does he know that?”
“Not yet.”
“So you’re just ignoring his calls, hoping he’ll take the hint?”
“No. I’m going to tell him. I’m just mad and don’t have the words right now.”
“And what words are you looking for exactly?”
I stare at her and nibble the inside of my lip.
“You planning to tell him you’re in love with him finally?”
My jaw drops open and she rolls her eyes dramatically. “Oh please. I figured it out years ago. You’re ridiculously protective of Mr. Jesse Williams lookalike.”
“I can be protective and not have feelings for him.”
“You could, but you do have feelings for him.”
A new worry infiltrates. “Is it that obvious?” Has he been able to tell all this time and I’ve just looked pitiful to him? Mortification heats my cheeks at the thought that he’s known about my true feelings this whole time.
Her gaze softens and she leans forward. “Alayna, relax. No, it’s not that obvious. I’m just exceptionally good at reading people, and you’ve actually let me in. I doubt anyone else would realize, especially not Dom. Let’s face it, men aren’t always the most perceptive beings, and Dom is no exception. But…I mean, would it be so bad if he did know?”
I’ve asked myself that question a million times over the years. There have been countless times when I’ve opened my mouth to tell him—especially those late nights when it was just the two of us and our conversations would become unexpectedly deep. Many a time I would look at him and the words would be right there on the tip of my tongue, begging to be released. Wondering what would happen if I spoke them. Would he reciprocate those feelings? Would he take the leap with me?
Would he love me?
But the moment always passed before the words were set free, so I’d swallow them down. And then I’d spend the next several weeks or months being his gal pal while I watched him flirt with every sorority girl on campus, or the cheerleaders on the sidelines, or the girls who would grind on him at dance parties.
Over time, it got a lot easier to keep those words to myself. Probably because it became more and more obvious that Dom couldn’t possibly reciprocate them.
“It would change our entire relationship, so yes, it would be that bad,” I say, answering Tessa’s question.
“It sounds like you’re planning to change the relationship anyway, so what could it hurt? What if it changed it for the better? What if he’s as afraid as you are?”
“Dom’s not afraid of anything, except maybe losing football.” Nothing is more important to him than football. I’m a close second, and I’ve always relished that position in his life, even if I wished I was the most important like he’s always been to me.
I completely drop my guard now because it’s exhausting leaving it up for everyone, and I trust Tessa.
“I feel like such an idiot, Tess,” my voice cracks.
Sympathy coats her strong Italian features, and she reaches out a hand to rest it over mine. “You’re not an idiot.”
I scoff. “I am. I’ve wasted years. For what? I’ve spent nearly the last decade loving a man who has only ever seen me as a friend. Don’t say that’s not pathetic because it feels pathetic.”
“We can’t pick and choose who we love.” She tilts her head to the side. “Is all this coming up because of the Jen Summers thing?”
I shake my head, then tilt it back until it rests against the high back of my chair. My gaze locks on the white ceiling as if it’ll give me some answers. “I helped him plan that whole stupid birthday party and he ditched me for her.”
“He’s been doing that a lot more lately, it seems.”
I nod. He has. And I’m probably the only person in the world who knows what started his spiral. I can’t blame him for reacting poorly. His relationship with his dad has been complicated since we were in high school and he discovered his dad was having an affair with the in-home nurse he’d hired to take care of Dom’s mom who was dying from cancer—the same nurse he married about a year after Dom’s mom passed away. Regardless of their history, I know he’s not taking the news about his dad’s pancreatic cancer well.
But that’s not my secret to tell.
