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I motioned Derek to the battered leather couch and sat opposite him in my equally seasoned armchair. He settled without slump or an anxious perch on the edge of the sofa. Sitting straight but not overly so, both feet flat on the floor, hands resting in his lap.
I’d thought about the appointment for a while, still had no idea how to get into the topic of abandonment.
I said, “Good to meet you.”
“Same here.” A boy’s voice transitioning to manhood. The result was the usual cracks and small squeaks. No self-consciousness about that. A self-possessed fifteen-year-old?
The widely set eyes were dark brown and soft, the square chin spotted with tiny pox-like zits. Similar gravel had been deposited between the eyes and on rosy cheeks. Spots of dark fuzz sprouted above his upper lip.
“Before we start, is there anything you’d like to ask me, Derek?”
“Not really.”
I waited.
“Not at all,” he said. “I’ve actually done this before.”
“Talked to a psychologist.”
“More like a counselor,” he said. “At school, when they thought I was going to freak out.”
“About what?”
“Why I’m here,” he said. “Neither of them wanting me after the divorce.”
He sighed, eyes shifting to his lap. But his voice had remained steady. Same for the eyes, when they finally rose and met mine.
I said, “They told you that?”
“They didn’t like come out and say it but they wanted me to know that they were going to be traveling a lot. Like all the time. So it wouldn’t be in my best interests to be dependent on them.”
“Was that a surprise?”
“Not really,” he said. “It’s been pretty obvious right from the beginning.”
“What has?”
“They’re not equipped.”
“To…”
“Be parents.” He shifted forward. “They’re not bad people. They changed my life. Do you know where I was before they adopted me?”
“An orphanage in Russia.”
“In Ukraine. My birth mother was dead and my father was unknown. I was five when they brought me over. I don’t remember much except for being cold and hungry. When I got here they were excited.”
Several blinks. Momentary frown. Recalling a phase that had passed?
I said, “Excited about adopting you.”
“Yes. They told me how smart I was to learn English so fast. I wanted to learn it fast. So I could have a better life. They smiled a lot, there was a lot of smiling, I wasn’t used to smiling, no one smiled at the orphanage. They spoiled me.”
“With…”
“Toys, games, clothes, whatever. I had my own room. A sixty-inch flat-screen with full streaming. I don’t care about clothes but they like it so I wore what they got me and got into it. They sent me to private schools. Got me a BMX, then another when I outgrew it, then another even though the second was big enough but they wanted something more deluxe. Whatever I asked for I got. I thought I was in heaven.” Fleeting smile. “I kind of was.”
I said, “A good life materially.”
