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“Enough about me.” Faye waves off my concern. “I need to apologize to you. Properly. I never should’ve gone off on you about Adam. It was stupid of me, and was more about myself than it was about you and him together.”
I say nothing, instead letting her sort through her thoughts.
“You’re amazing, Lori. You’re pretty and smart, and everything comes so easy for you.”
I open my mouth to tell her she’s just reiterating what she said last night, but she rushes to beat me. “No, wait. It’s not a bad thing, and it’s not your fault. That’s on me and my own issues. Sometimes I’m insecure standing next to you, knowing everyone’s comparing us and I’m falling short in every category.”
I gape at her. “Faye, that’s not true. You’re the one everyone’s captivated by. You’re the one who makes an entrance every time you walk in a room. You’re the one who owns who you are and is unapologetic about it. I can never be any of those things, but I’m trying.” I realize it as I say it. The person I’m trying to be is someone who makes her own decisions, who speaks her mind, someone like Faye.
Faye continues, “I’m sorry I yelled at you about Adam, and I’m not saying that because you already told him off. I was coming to say that before he interrupted us on the beach. Obviously you can handle yourself, and I realize that sometimes I push you around. I just always think I know best, and I only want what’s best for you. But that’s wrong. I don’t always know what’s best and sometimes I’m a complete idiot. But either way, I need to let you make your own decisions. I’m your best friend. I should be there to help you work through things, not tell you what to do.”
I can tell she’s put a lot of thought into this and really means it. I’d already forgiven her, but it means a lot to me that she’s reflected like I have and realized some things need to change, and that change isn’t necessarily a bad thing.
“And I’m sorry for not being around as much this week while I was focused on my own stuff.”
I haven’t spent much time with Faye at the parties, but that’s just her personality. She’s always done her own thing and made friends easily and can talk to anyone about everything. Looking back, not having her here to lean on has forced me to open up to Dean or Dylan, or Naomi, or Kiara, Priyasha, and Anaya. But deep down, I know Faye wouldn’t ditch me if she didn’t think I’d have our other friends to hang out with. If it was just me and her here on vacation and I didn’t have any other friends, I know she’d stay by my side and force me to have fun, like she’s done throughout high school. I’ve always had Faye, and this vacation she’s been busy dealing with her emotions about Kellan, so her presence has become especially scarce. Her absence has forced me not to hide in her shadow at these social events like I would’ve been content doing, and instead it’s given me the space to see who I’d be without Faye to hold my hand.
“It’s all right, Faye. You were right before when you said I didn’t need you to babysit me all week. Plus, I’m going to try being more vocal, so I’m prepared to call you out on stuff in the future.”
She laughs. “You better! I realized I’m a bit selfish and have an eyes-on-the-prize-so-screw-everyone-else kind of attitude, and it’ll be good to have both you and Adam check me on it.”
“Me and Adam?”
“Yeah. We talked. It was . . . nice.” She clears her throat.
“But enough about me. Dylan said something was going on with you. What’s up?”
If anyone can give me boy advice, it’s Faye. “Well, I kissed Adam, which again, I didn’t plan, it was just what I did to distract him from finding out about you and Kellan.”
“Thanks for that, by the way.”
I nod. “Right. Well, after that, I found Dean, and we kissed.”
Faye gasps and throws off the covers, leaning forward and giving me her full attention. “Lor! Yes! I’m so proud of you!
Wait . . . all that stuff Adam was saying at the beach makes so much sense now.”
“Yeah, he saw the whole thing. He said some not nice things, and I ran away. I haven’t talked to Dean since then either. I might’ve ruined it, but I still feel like I owe Dean a conversation, if he’ll even talk to me.”
Faye frowns. “You’re not with either of them and don’t owe them anything. Remember that time I made out with three different guys all in one night at that party? I had fun and didn’t care what anyone thought. Guys will literallysleepwith a bunch of girls in one night, or a different girl every day, and no one looks twice at them. Don’t let double standards stop you from being who you are, or stop you from having an actual conversation with Dean. Just talk to him. Don’t assume you know what he’s thinking, that’s literally what made everything so complicated with me and Kellan.”
She has a point, but every time I’m with Dean I embarrass myself or screw it up.
“Dean is a great guy,” Faye continues. “He compliments you in ways that my brother couldnever. He got you to swim with fish! You never would’ve done that by yourself. And I’m not just Team Dean because I don’t want you to be with Adam.”
She’s right. Dean’s never cared when I embarrassed myself in front of him. In fact, he called meamazing. He said lots of butterfly-inducing things last night about me.
I jump up from the bed. “I’m going to talk to him!”
A smile fills her face. “Atta girl! Tell me how it goes.” She settles back into bed and pulls the covers up before turning off the lamp. “You got this!”
When I reach the door, I turn around and race back to her bedside, throwing myself on top of her in a hug. She’s my best friend, and we may not be perfect, but we’ll always have each other’s backs.
She huffs under my weight but laughs. “Love you, Lori.”
“Love you too.” I get off her and straighten out my bikini top. “Get some rest!”
Now that we’ve made up, I can breathe easier. There will be other times when we fight, but we’ll always come back to each other.
