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“Well…”
And just like that, my sister went on to tell me all about my favorite little girl in the world. Somehow, through the heaviness of our conversation only minutes earlier this morning, and all of the sadness and uncertainty I felt about my situation with Banks and Rhys, my mood improved tremendously at hearing about Ruby. Icouldn’t wait to see her again, so I could give her a squeeze.
Jolene and I ended our call a little while later, and after I stayed in bed for just a bit longer, I realized I couldn’t do this. I had to get up and do something.
The weather wasn’t exactly warm, but if I bundled myself up, I could get outside and get some fresh air. Maybe it wasn’t the wisest idea considering my fragile emotional state, but I decided I’d take a trip to the cemetery to visit Graham.
Not long after I’d made that decision, I’d parked my car down the road from the cemetery and started my trek. On my walk along the sidewalk, my eyes were pulled toward something else.
I don’t know why it hadn’t occurred to me before I drove here, but now that it was smacking me in the face, I couldn’t ignore it.
The dog park.
It was right next to the cemetery.
And seemingly of their own accord, my feet carried me past the cemetery and in that direction instead.
I went in, sat down on a bench, and just watched. I wasn’t looking for anything, and I truly didn’t expect I’d find something that would lead me to learning about an important detail regarding Graham’s death.
But given this was a place Graham not only spent a lot of time, and a place he indicated where something bad had happened, I wanted to sit for a while. Maybe what I was hoping to find was a bit more peace over losing Graham and Henry. Watching the other dogs run around, my heart ached. I missed my dog as much as I missed Graham. Sadly, the pain never seemed to go away. It had only eased when I was spending my days looking after Rhys.
I sat on the bench in the dog park for a long time, allowing what felt like hundreds of thoughts and memories to run through my mind. But after a while, it got cold, and I had no choice but to get up, so I could head back to my car.
And that’s when it happened.
I’d exited the park, began making my way to my car, and had just passed the entrance to the cemetery when I heard a familiar voice call my name.
“Lamise?”
I froze, wondering if I was hearing things correctly, or if I’d made it all up in my head. At that point, anything was possible.
I waited a bit longer before deciding what to do, and that’s when it happened again. “Lamise?”
This time, the voice was pained, and that’s what forced me to turn around. What I saw nearly broke my heart.
Banks was standing there with Rhys in his arms. They were both bundled up, the tips of their noses red from the cold.
It was already more than I could handle to see them there like that, but it was the realization of what they were doing there that did me in.
My mind flashed back to the conversation I had with Banks last night. I talked to him about his wife, about the wife I thought he was in the process of divorcing. He’d claimed the opposite, and now I knew why.
Banks wasn’t divorced or going through one.
He wasn’t married, either.
Banks had just walked out of the cemetery with his son, and it was because Banks was a widower.
I wanted nothing more than for the ground to open up and swallow me whole.
ELEVEN
Banks
If there was one word to describe the way I felt, it was guilty.
Everything had been going great.
For the last week, I’d been feeling especially grateful that I’d been standing at Avalon’s desk when Lamise came in to submit a job application and drop off her resume.
