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“Very bad,” Shaw said, nodding enthusiastically. “The worst.”
“Uh huh,” John-Henry said. “That’s not exactly reassuring.”
“Look, we’re already tied up in this,” North said.
“Because you’re our friends,” Shaw said.
“Because it’s an interesting investigation.”
“And we care about you,” Shaw said. “We love you so much. Both of you, although mostly Emery. No offense, John-Henry.”
“Are you kidding me? If anything, we’re doing this because I feel sorry for John-Henry because he lives in this shithole, and in a place like this, beggars can’t be choosers.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?” Shaw asked, bristling in his seat.
“Exactly what you think it means: if he could get any non-crazy, non-asshole dick in this bunghole of a town, he would have. Instead, he’s got chuckle-fucks.”
“That’s you,” Shaw said to Emery. “You’re chuckle-fucks.”
“I hadn’t realized,” Emery said.
“I’ll have you know Emery is a top prospect,” Shaw said. “In this town. In any town. He’s a Wahredua ten. And he’s a New York City ten and a half.”
“It’s a fucking ten scale, jackass. He can’t be a New York City ten and a half.”
“Really? Let’s do the math. Thighs: ten. Ass: ten and a half. Dick—”
“Ok,” John-Henry said. “As much as I would normally enjoy this, I’ve got to keep moving, guys. There’s a lot to do.”
“Of course,” Shaw said. “I’m sorry for my colleague’s unprofessional behavior.”
“His dick would be a three because it’s probably falling off from scurvy,” North said.
“If anything, his dick would be—”
Emery clapped his hands. “Jackasses, enough.”
North settled back into his seat.
“What have you got?” Emery asked.
“It’s a mess,” John-Henry said. “Where do I start? The cameras were deactivated, for one. For another, we’ve got a deputy missing, and an offender escaped.”
“Jesus Christ. Why were the fucking cameras turned off?”
“Great question,” John-Henry said.
Emery looked like he wanted to get his teeth into that, so North leaned forward. “Do you have a timeline?”
“Kind of. The cameras went off around seven. A deputy found the sheriff and Dalton a little after eight; they got a hold of me pretty quickly after that. We’ve got BOLOs out for the missing deputy and the offender, and Highway Patrol is putting up roadblocks and checkpoints.”
“An hour,” Emery said. “That’s a lot of time.”
John-Henry nodded. “They could be anywhere at this point, but if Highway Patrol moves fast, maybe they’ll catch something.”
“Do we know what happened?” Shaw asked. “Did Dalton attack the sheriff? Why was the sheriff even there?”
“We don’t know. They run a skeleton crew at night. The deputy who found the sheriff was one of two who were supposed to be on duty in the men’s unit.”
