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It was a feeling of relief, and she began to see herself and her options in a new light.
Jenni conceded to herself that she was feeling much better about life in general. She was working on putting Compy and hiscriticisms and betrayal behind her, and she was also working on not judging everyone by Compy’s example, including Caleb.
It was painful at first to realize how unfair she’d been to Caleb, but as her uncle had wisely said, she had to accept, if not quite embrace, each experience, and grow from it.
She thought about texting Caleb to let him know she had finally taken his advice. She typed the text, but at the last minute, she deleted it before she sent it.
If she was going to forget him then that is exactly what she had to do, and sending a text probably wasn’t the smartest thing to do. At least in her heart, she knew that she had learned from that painful lesson, and that she was, she hoped, becoming a better, less judgmental, person. Maybe she would even learn to trust again.
It was with that in mind that she accepted a date a few weeks later. She certainly hadn’t forgotten Caleb, but she wanted to see if she could function in a normal dating environment again.
Thinking about her fishing experiences, she reminded herself there were plenty of fish in the sea.
She might have lost Caleb, but if this worked out, at least there was a chance for possibility in the future.
Tim Whiteside was a fellow she met while teaching. They went out for a drink with a group after class, and he asked her out for that weekend.
He was bright, engaging, and funny.
Jenni enjoyed herself and made certain that she took him at face value without trying to second-guess what he did or said. But at night, when she was alone with her thoughts, she knew that as nice as Tim was, she didn’t feel any chemistry. She wished it could be different, but she also knew chemistry wasn’t something you could force.
In her mind, it was either there or it wasn’t, and it wasn’t with Tim.
The weekend before she left for the tournament, they went out for a lovely dinner. He asked her for her plans for the coming weekend, and she told him she’d be leaving Wednesday afternoon sometime for a fishing tournament. His eyes widened a bit, but then became downcast as Jenni continued.
“Tim, I have to be honest. These past few weeks have been a lot of fun,” she said, wringing her dinner napkin under the table. “But I’m not sure this is working for me, and I think maybe tonight should be our last date.”
He cleared his throat but then surprised Jenni. “It’s OK. I get it. I’m not sure how I feel, but if our being together isn’t for you, it’s best we figure that out now.”
“Wow, thanks for that,” responded Jenni. “I thought you’d be all bent out of shape or something.”
“I don’t come into things with high expectations, or any expectations, really,” explained Tim calmly. “You don’t know about how something will work out unless you give it a try. You’re an interesting and funny woman, Jenni, and I respect and admire you. I sense you’re going through some things. I don’t know why, I just do. But whatever, you’ve been honest with me and that’s a plus.”
They parted on friendly terms. Having decided earlier to drive separately since they lived on the opposite side of town from each other, Jenni sat in her car for quite a while before heading home.
She felt as if a huge weight had been lifted off her shoulders, and not just because of the way Tim had handled things.
She realized she had made real progress over the past weeks. Maybe, just maybe, she was finally headed in the right direction.
As she pulled out of the parking lot and into traffic, she also knew that next weekend there would be one direction and one direction only for her – east to Hatteras.
Chapter Twenty-Eight
Jenni listened as the last swell of the organ filled the small chapel. She watched as others rose and moved to the rear to pay their respects, but she held back. She wanted to have a few more moments with Dee.
It seemed to have happened very suddenly, although Jenni knew Mrs. Carroll had been failing for a long time.
Dee had apparently been putting up a very brave front, so it came as a shock early in the morning after her last datewith Tim when her phone rang, and Dee shared the news. The funeral would be on the following Wednesday morning. All of the arrangements had been in place for some time.
It was just a matter of relatives making the necessary travel plans. Now, as she made her way down the aisle, she thought again about how quickly life passed everyone by. She was so grateful to her Uncle Ron for his wisdom and guidance helping her open up to the possibilities of the life ahead of her.
“Aw, Dee, I’m just so sorry,” she said as she hugged her boss and took her hands in hers.
“Are you OK?”
Dee took out a well-worn tissue from her pocket and dabbed at her eyes. “I think I am, Jenni. You know I thought I was prepared for this, but there’s no way you can prepare for the finality of it. Somehow, you always think there will be another day.”
Jenni nodded solemnly. “You take as much time off as you need. I’m here. I know that we have compassionate leave, and I also know the board will understand if you need more than that.”
