Shit. I frantically turn off the water and a million thoughts speed across my brain. Is it a real fire? Do I have time to get dressed? I can’t leave the building in a fuckingtowel.I go to grab my leggings but they’re caught in my bag and half-drop onto the wet floor, and frankly, putting them on requires a level of dexterity I barely possess when my skin is dry, let alone now.
The same voice shouts again, and fuck it, I refuse to die at a leisure centre.
I shove my feet into my Converse like they’re flip-flops, grab my bag, and in what is possibly my worst nightmare come true, reenter the main changing area clad in nothing but a towel. I’m clearly not the only person who was caught unawares; people in various states of undress stumble out of the door, wincing against the endless blare of the fire alarm.
Luck is not on my side, because at the precise moment I step out of the changing room into the corridor, a flummoxed but impossibly familiar male voice says, ‘What the fuck?’
Finn is, I’m surprised to note, clutching a towel around his waist, dripping with water like he also just escaped the shower, wet hair sending rivulets down his bare chest. I avert my eyes and we stand still in the hallway as the flow of people exiting our respectivechanging rooms eddies around us. How is it possible that this man shows up everywhere I am? Can’t a woman participate in a fire drill half naked in peace?
A lady in a hi-vis jacket who must be the source of the prior yelling starts up again, ‘Keep moving anddonotblock the doorways.’
I shake my head furiously and tighten my towel, which now feels far too small, silently following the flow of people to the closest fire exit. I’m relieved to find it opens onto a quiet side street away from the prying eyes of the general public. I join a few others sitting on a low wall on the opposite side of the street and Finn stands in front of me, droplets still glistening on his skin. The August sun beats down on us and I have to squint when I look up at him. Wordlessly, he steps to the side to block the light from my face.
When my retinas stop burning, I let them settle on the sight in front of me. Sun-kissed shoulders, those arms that easily lifted him out of the water to sit next to me at the lido, the shape of his torso that seems toaskmy gaze to draw downwards.
‘I can take the towel off, if you’d like.’ My head snaps up to meet his eyes. They’re playful like they always are, but behind them, something smoulders. It’s fine. He’s an attractive man, and I’m allowed to look. But that doesn’t mean I want him to catch me doing it.
‘Are you flexing?’ I counter, trying to keep my eyes level.
One corner of his mouth raises in a smirk. ‘Might be.’
I don’t think it’s the fire drill that’s sent adrenaline beating its thunderous drum through my body. Somehow, even though I’m more covered up than I was at the pool, I feel like I’m showing every possible inch of skin. It’s at this point that I realise I should’ve just risked putting my sweaty clothes back on. How likely was I to burn alive in the shower, of all places?
‘This is the worst dayof my life,’ I groan. Josie’s going todiewhen I tell her.
‘I don’t know,’ he says smoothly. ‘I’m having a great time.’
In an attempt to reroute my thoughts, my brain switches gears and I remember our last conversation. ‘Wait, how was your interview? I meant to text you about it.’
‘Honestly?’ A lock of hair flops onto his forehead and he pushes it back. ‘I don’t wanna jinx anything, but they as good as told me I had it. There are some formalities they need to go through first but I’ll find out for certain within the next two weeks.’
Finn’s rarely bashful, but when he unsuccessfully tries to push down a smile, pride crashes through my chest. But there’s something else I can’t place too. I push it aside to say, ‘Told you you’d smash it.’
I shuffle to the left to make space on the wall, tapping the empty spot for him to sit, but he shakes his head and stays where he is, continuing to block the sun for me.
‘It feels like everything’s falling into place, and with my dad coming to visit soon I’ll be able to tell him about this new job.’ He wrings his hands. ‘I’m thinking maybe it could bring us closer.’
‘You really want to make him proud.’ If I had a son like Finn, I’d be proud simply by default. Not many people glow so bright that it makes you believe you could step out of the shadows and see the road ahead with their light.
‘I guess.’ He looks away and shrugs, and a few droplets glide down his arms from his shoulders. He blinks a few times and then meets my eye again, clarity sharpening his focus. ‘What are you even doing here, anyway? I thought the gym was against your personal beliefs.’
‘It is.’ I send my mind back to just twenty minutes ago, but it feels like I’m wading through sludge trying to rememberthe reason I came. ‘I’m here for the date I mentioned to you yesterday. Jacob the climber.’
‘Hmm.’ He gestures to the swelling crowd around us, the fire alarm still blasting in the distance. ‘There must’ve been quite the spark.’
‘I wasminutesaway from meeting him for coffee.’ I tuck my hair behind my ears. ‘We hardly spoke while we climbed. My polite and agreeable act was a waste.’
A muscle jumps in his jaw. ‘I told you, you don’t need to be someone you’re not. Soft and polite and gentle isn’t going to work.’
‘And I toldyouI want something easy and uncomplicated. No drama.’ What I don’t say is that I’m not even sure I deserve anything more than that. ‘I want to see what I’m capable of if I loosen up a little. And in this instance, loosening up means faking it till I make it. Who knows, if I act this way long enough, maybe I’ll become sweet Ava permanently.’
I end the sentence with a grin, but it’s like someone’s taken a drawstring and tightened Finn’s entire body. His forehead crumples, his mouth pinches, and his shoulders hunch as he looks down at me.
‘Stop doing that,’ he says in a low voice. ‘Everything about you is exactly as it should be. I’m sure of it.’
His sudden intensity throws me off. It pushes and pulls at the same time; blasting me into space while the g-force pins me down and presses in from all sides. I don’t like the way the tension closes up his features, so I let the moment tug between us, flexing and stretching and tugging until it settles.
‘Okay,’ I say with a nod.