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‘Are you going to explain why you’re up?’ She leans against the breakfast bar and eyes me suspiciously. ‘Wait, have you even gone to bed?’
‘I have in fact had adelightfulnight’s sleep. I came home earlier than I expected and decided to be a grown-up by eating a banana and downing a few pints of water before bed so I wouldn’t feel disgusting this morning.’
‘Proud of you.’ Josie leans on the counter and rests her chin on her linked hands. ‘Why’d you come home earlier than you expected?’
I’m reminded of my response to Aiden last night. It was like my body was yellingstop,this isn’t for you anymore!I don’t know whatisfor me, but it categorically cannot be Finn, despite his inopportune appearance in my head mid-makeout.
The sound of the shower stops and I reply, ‘Just wasn’t feeling it.’
She’s pensive, moving her pouted lips from side to side. ‘And may I ask why you’ve decided to change a decades-long personality trait and wake up early on a Saturday?’
‘I’m doing some work on my laptop and wanted to get it finished as soon as possible.’ It’s taken me a couple of hours to go through Finn’s presentation. He’s good with words so I didn’t need to do much. I figure if I help him with his pitch, he’ll get the San Francisco job, he’ll leave as planned, and everything can go back to normal. No chaos. Because I don’t want chaos. I want easy. ‘Speaking of which, do you know of a printing shop nearby?’
Alina sweeps into the room, short dark curls dripping onto her t-shirt as she kisses Josie on the head. ‘Morning. I didn’t expect to see you out of your hovel yet, Ava.’ I fake-smile at her and she snorts. ‘And sorry to eavesdrop, but I’ve used a printing shop down by Clapham North before. Or there’s the library?’
‘I think a shop’ll be better.’ I hand her a tea before picking up the other two, and we all make our way to the living area, Alina’s hand at the small of her girlfriend’s back.
They’re not one of those couples that falls all over each other at all times, but sometimes it feels like I’m intruding on the tiny moments they share; Alina moving something out of the way before Josie sits on it, Josie detangling Alina’s hair as they sit on the sofa listening to a podcast, the pair of them facing each other talking about art and music like it’s their religion.
‘Ava’s working on something mysterious,’ Josie explains, ‘on a Saturday.’
Alina opens the blinds and sunlight hits my vampire skin at last. I refrain from hissing.
‘It’s not mysterious,’ I argue, curling into my spot on the rightend of the sofa and pulling my massive t-shirt over me as far as it’ll go. ‘I’m helping Finn with a task he needs to complete for a job he’s interviewing for.’
Alina’s eyebrows raise and I can just tell Josie’s told her every tidbit she knows about this man. ‘If he gets a new job, he won’t be around the coffee shop as much anymore, right?’
I don’t know how to explain that he won’t be around thecountryas much anymore, but I still haven’t actually told Josie about the fact he was only ever a temporary step in my London life. ‘He’ll be here for a little while longer. It’s a long application process.’
‘Hm,’ Josie says. I can’t read what’s going on behind her eyes, but then she says, ‘How’s your own job hunt going?’
‘Oh.’ My eyes water as I take a sip of too-hot tea. ‘I never really started.’
‘I thought you were going to apply to that internship Finn mentioned to you.’
Damn Josie and her impossible memory. ‘I didn’t get around to it before applications closed. And I’m not sure what else to try, so I figured I’ll just stay at City Roast for now.’ My drink scalds my tongue at the same moment the image of me working there in twenty years sears across my brain again.
‘Ava come on, you hate that place.’
‘I don’t hate it. Not all of it, anyway.’
‘It’s not your passion,’ she says, momentarily distracted by Rudy nudging her hand with a toy in his mouth, which she tugs absentmindedly.
‘Tell me, when have you ever known me to be passionate about anything?’ I pull my fingers through a knot in my ponytail. ‘I’m walking apathy.’
‘That’s not true,’ Alina butts in from where she’s sitting on the floor. ‘You have a real enthusiasm for masculine, anthropomorphic cartoon characters.’
‘The Beast could get it,’ I reply sagely.
‘Stop encouraging her,’ Josie says, frowning in Alina’s direction. Alina and I share a grin, andJosie doesn’t need to see it to know we’re trying not to laugh. ‘There’s more for you out there. You’re allowed to go and look for it, you know.’
I look over at the dining table, morning sunshine reflecting off the glass Finn took from Tamesis Dock. Would it be tempting fate to be a little brave in the hopes of being happy? Or would it be a disaster?
I make a noncommittal noise and drink my tea.
‘Let’s go to the common today,’ Alina declares, now completely horizontal and soaking up the sun like a cat. ‘Ava, you’re coming too.’
‘I don’t wanna get all hot and sticky and see all the bugs.’
