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When I open the door I find a woman leaning against the sink looking directly at me, and for some reason it makes me jump, so Igasp, and then she apologises, and puts both hands out like I’m a skittish animal she’s coaxing to safety.
‘Hi,’ she says, her expression concerned. It’s Finn’s date, Alex, I realise. ‘Sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you.’
‘Oh, uh, no, you didn’t,’ I lie, heading to the sink. She shifts away from me so I can reach the soap.
‘I love your dress,’ she says, and I’m searching for any hint of malice or sarcasm in her voice but come up empty.
‘Thank you,’ I reply, soapy water splashing all over the clothing she just complimented.
‘Sorry if this is weird, but when I was at my table I saw you talking to the guy I’m here with. He said you know each other, but it looked like you were angry when you were talking, so I was wondering if there’s anything I should know.’
‘Anything you should know?’ My mind spirals. What does that even mean?
‘You seemed upset, so if there’s a reason I should tell him to fuck off then please let me know. He seems great but if he’s really just a master actor then I’d rather just cut my losses now. His endorsement isn’t worth it.’
Something about her choice of words is odd but I’m too distracted to think too much about it. I place my hands in the dryer, mesmerised by the way my skin aggressively ripples under the air. I almost messed this up for Finn by not giving him her number before. I won’t do it again. Even though he doesn’tdeserveme being nice to him.
‘No, honestly. He’s a good guy, I promise,’ I say eventually, as someone else comes out of another cubicle and starts to wash their hands.
‘Okay, phew. Thanks.’ She’s visibly relieved, a small smile on her face.
‘You’re free to enjoy your date,’ I say, returning the smile.
An odd expression crosses her face. ‘It’s actually—’ I don’t particularly want to hear the details, so I’m relieved when the other person at the sink blocks out the sound with the hand dryer. When the noise stops, Alex says, ‘Anyway, thanks for letting me know. It was nice to meet you.’
As she moves into a cubicle I look at myself in the mirror. I don’t recognise jealousy, but I think it’s settled into the hard set of my mouth. I take a deep breath and try to release the tension with my exhale. I think I’ve got so used to hanging out with Finn that it’s strange to me that someone else might take up his time now. But it’s not my place to decide how he spends his time, and with who. I can’t stand in the way of Finn starting something with someone who could keep up with him, whose lifestyle could match his. Someone who compliments women in bathrooms for no reason. Realistically,that’sthe sort of person he deserves.
And so, over the rest of the evening I try to lean into Henry’s eccentricities. It sort of works. I’m still very aware we’d be a terrible fit, but while Old Ava would’ve left within fifteen minutes, New Ava sticks it out, because she knows that sometimes people surprise you. He’s interesting, if a bit odd. It’s probably a more enlightening way to spend my Friday than usual, at least.
At one point I glance over to the window booths and I’m not sure if it’s the light glinting across his glasses, but I swear Finn winks at me. I avert my eyes and dig into my baklava, which is incredible, to be honest. If nothing else, Henry has great taste in desserts.
On my way back to the table after another trip to the bathroom—because I have the bladder of a goldfish at the best of times, let alone when I consume any quantity of alcohol—I cross paths with Finn and Alex leaving.
‘Hey Henry,’ Finn says brightly, making the man in questionjump. ‘Hope you’ve been enjoying the company of my wonderful friend.’
‘Oh yeah, it’s been great,’ he says. We both know this is a lie, but there’s a camaraderie between us about it.
I have to slide behind Finn to get back to my seat, and he leans his face towards my ear as I do, making me freeze.
‘Ava.’ I’m sure he can hear my heartbeat pounding through my head. He is far,fartoo close. He whispers, ‘You have toilet paper on your shoe.’ Sure enough, there’s a trail of tissue at my feet. ‘Have a good night,’ he says with a grin, opening the door forAlex and following closely behind.
21
cause of death: men leaning
A V A
It is a truthuniversally acknowledged that every man looks fitter when he leans; against walls, counters, or, god forbid, doorframes. So when a familiar voice reaches me and the curly-haired man it belongs to props himself against the coffee bar, I’m embarrassed to admit that my eyes draw straight to him. But this reaction isn’t acrime. I’m allowed to acknowledge these things.
Likewise, it was not a crime for me to have a particularly inappropriate dream about Finn the night after the catastrophic restaurant date. That was out of my control. I’d argue it was a cry for help, actually. It’s one of many things I’d never tell Finn. Another is that my lingering anger over that ridiculous date is cooling to amusement, but I refuse to give him the satisfaction of hearing me admit that.
‘Good morning to the coffee industry’s most cheerful employee.’ His eyes slide to my right, where my new coworker stands patiently. ‘Unless your new colleague is intending to give you a run for your money.’
Dylan smiles but she’s clearly not sure how else to react. Mateo’s replacement isn’t bad so far; she seems competent, which is more than I can say for the man who did a trial shift the other day. She hasn’t said much, and I don’t know if it’s because she has first-week nerves, or if she intends to have the kind of silently efficient working relationship her predecessor and I had. I make a mental note to try to find out which one it is.
‘Dylan, this is Finn. He’s kind of like the City Roast stray cat. You get used to him.’
‘I’ll bear that in mind.’ She laughs quietly and tucks the chunk of hair behind her ear that keeps falling out of her tiny blonde ponytail. ‘Do you want me to go and clean the tables?’
