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I wave a hand in the vicinity of my laptop. ‘Putting together a deck?’
‘With Ava.’
At the mention of her name, I have to forcibly keep my eyes from flicking over to her. I’m leaving. She doesn’t see me that way. Neither of us is looking for a relationship. There’s nothing else to it. ‘We’re friends.’
‘And I’m Michael Bublé.’
‘Get back in the freezer, Mike, it’s far too early in the year for you to be here.’
He ignores me. ‘I just hope you’ve thought this through.’
‘There’s nothing to think through.’ I look back at my screen, wondering if I’ll be able to find a believable answer in there. Wehad a moment a few weeks ago when we were drunk, but that’s all it was. It wasn’t even a moment. It was analmost-moment.
‘Tell that to the grin on your face.’ He switches to French, an old habit from when we were kids and trying to talk secretly at school. His voice is low when he says, ‘I don’t want you to get hurt. From what you’ve told me, I’m pretty sure she eats men like you for breakfast.’
‘And?’ My voice raises slightly and the person at the table next to us glances in our direction. I don’t know why I’m so protective all of a sudden. It’s not like me to get so defensive, and it’s not like he’s wrong.
‘And even if she didn’t, you never stay in one place for long. Between the two of you, that’s not exactly a healthy recipe.’
‘Which is why it’s great we are solely platonic.’ I’m trying to keep my tone light, but an unfamiliar wave of annoyance passes through me. ‘Why are you being so weird about seeing me having fun?’
‘Hey, that’s not fair. I love seeing you happy, you know I do. I want that more than anything. But there’s more.’ Concern weaves across his face, into the downturn of his mouth, along the frown lines on his forehead. ‘You’re filling your days with her. I’ve seen you like this before.’
I meet his eyes as the defensiveness pushes its way out of every pore. ‘She’s nothing like Léa. We’re nothing like me and Léa.’
He expels a long breath. ‘Does she know you’re leaving?’
‘She knows it’s on the cards.’ But there’s a twinge in my gut, and taking a drag of coffee does nothing to appease the churning there. I told her the other day I’d got to the second stage of the process for the San Francisco job and I couldn’t quite figure out what she was thinking. I was excited to tell her, she was excited for me, and yet, it felt like both of us were lying somehow. Thatconfusion hasn’t really settled since. ‘We’re friends, like I said. And I’m not going to be the one to destroy that.’
Julien and I go back to our work but I can tell we’re both still chewing over the conversation.
Even if I wanted to disrupt our friendship, Ava as good as told me she’d never come near me sober. And since she told me that, I feel like I’ve done a good job of pushing any potential feelings down. At least outwardly.
After a minute or two, Julien clears his throat and his lips turn up in a rueful smile. ‘For the record, friends don’t typically look at friends like they’re the brightest star in the sky. But maybe I’m old-fashioned.’
I don’t really know what to say to that.
By the time I’ve finished making my presentation—a surprisingly productive afternoon—Julien’s packing away his stuff.
‘Finn, I’m sorry if I sounded like a dick earlier. I like her, and I like that you’re friends.’ He nudges me with his elbow. ‘It’s about time someone else shared the burden of your undying affection.’
‘Oh, I get it now.’ I cross my arms. ‘You were just jealous of the fact someone might come and steal your crown.’
He flings his head back and laughs. While everything else about him is controlled and smooth, his laugh is all-encompassing, so loud it always sounds like there are two of him in a room.
‘Ava and I may share many notable characteristics,’ he begins, nodding towards her cleaning a table in the far corner, ‘as in, we’re both tall, hot and have a sadistic interest in making fun of you. But if it comes down to a case of who knows you better, there’s no contest. I can’t be jealous of someone who’s not even my competition.’
‘Exactly,’ I close my laptop too, pointedly ignoring the fact he called her hot and instead thinking about how we’ve hardly spent any time together outside of work recently. ‘Are you free tonight? That Senegalese pop-up you like is back in Brixton Market.’
He closes his eyes and hums his approval. ‘For you, I’m always free.’ I raise an eyebrow and he amends, ‘Fine, that’s not true. But for Little Baobab, I definitely am.'
20
there’s nothing sexier than a good piece of masonry
A V A
Just as I finishserving another customer, soy-latte-Samantha stops by the counter. She talked my ear off about her daughter for five minutes straight earlier and I brace myself for another onslaught of information.
