‘Stan’s a lovely man, but I don’t think he likes to try new things.’ Considering Stan has come into the coffee shop at the same time every day (nine-thirty), ordering the same drink (Earl Grey with hot milk) and same snack (a pack of ready salted crisps) ever since I’ve worked here, I’m inclined to agree. I don’t want to think about the fact that without intervention from Josie, or Finn, frustratingly, I’m well on my way to becoming a Stan too.
‘I don’t think a drunken agreement would stand in a court of law,’ I point out, grabbing a teabag for myself and pouring boiling water into a cup.
‘Our handshake would.’ He takes an appreciative sip of his drink. ‘But do you remember anything from the list? What have yougot planned for me next?’
Unfortunately, at this exact moment I see something through the floor-to-ceiling windows that sends me dropping to the floor out of sight.
‘Fuckme,’ I say under my breath.
‘I usually take a woman to dinner first,’ he responds. When I don’t reply, he asks, ‘Is there any particular reason you’re on the floor?’
‘Is there a tall blonde man by the window still?’
‘Great beard? Yeah he’s coming ins—’ I dart into the back room before he can finish his sentence, leaving the door ajar. Finn greets the person who just walked in, cheerful as ever.
And then comes the rich, audiobook voice of a man I haven’t seen in months. A man who proved to me that I should never hook up with men I meet in real life.
‘Hello,’ Jonas says on the other side of the door. ‘When I was outside I’m sure I saw someone behind the counter that I knew.’
‘Mateo?’ Finn asks. ‘Makes really good chai lattes?’
‘Her name’s Emily.’
I can’t see Finn’s face but I can imagine the calculated amusement in his eyes. ‘Don’t know if there’s an Emily here.’
‘She’s tall, curvy, sort of like if Botticelli’s Venus had dark hair and a fringe and was a bit emo.’
I won’t lie, it’s not a terrible analogy.
‘Very specific,’ Finn says. ‘Though could you maybe give me some more details?’
‘Well, not to be crass,’ Jonas says, ‘but she has an incredible ass. Great personality too, of course, so bright and warm, but, you know. The ass is… yeah.’
‘Nah, there’s definitely no one here who fits that description,’ Finn replies coolly, raising his voice slightly. I think I should be offended, so I send him a glare he can’t see.
After a few more painful moments of back-and-forth between them, eventually I grit my teeth and push the door open, where I’m met by two drastically different expressions on two drastically different men. As expected, Finn’s mouth is curved into a smirk, while Jonas looks like he just won the lottery.
‘Itwasyou,’ he says, eyes softening, moving towards me.
‘Oh, you meant that Emily,’ Finn says, scratching his jaw. ‘I forgot about her.’
I wipe my sweaty palms on my apron. ‘Jonas, it’s been, what, two months?’
‘Ninety-four days.’ Finn’s mouth drops open behind his blonde counterpart as he starts to piece it together, delight swimming in his eyes. He moves away but I know he’s eavesdropping, because he’s gone to the straws and he alreadyhasone.
‘God, that long?’ I ask, wringing my hands in front of me.
‘I’ve thought about you every day since.’ He looks in my eyes like he’s trying to find the secrets of the universe in them. ‘It must be fate that I walked past at this exact moment. How have you been?’
‘Good, really good. Can I get you anything to drink?’
‘Oh. Sorry, I’m overwhelmed. A latte please.’
The night we met, Jonas wrote me a limerick. I decided it would be the last time I met someone out in public instead of on an app, where I can at least vet my subjects first.
While I make his coffee, he peppers me with questions. ‘Do you want to go for a drink later? I’d love to spend more time with you. When do you finish?’ He drops his voice. ‘I can’t stop thinking about that evening we spent together on the boat. It was one of the best nights of my life.’
My face burns as memories resurface. I mean, I had a good time. Multiple good times, if we’re being honest. But there wasa reason I cut him off completely afterwards, and he’s showing it now. Too emotional, too dramatic, too much. I don’t see people again, and if Idid,it definitely wouldn’t be this extraordinarily intense man.