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Don’t get ahead of yourself. Just because you can move doesn’t mean you’re any closer to getting out of here,I remind myself. It’s a harsh reality, but one I need to accept if I’m going to survive whatever Spade’s planning to throw at me in my time here.
I have little doubt that he’ll force my compliance with threats to my loved ones, but at least I’ll have a choice in those decisions. Not a real one because I’ll always do everything in my power to protect the people I love, but the illusion of one nonetheless.
If only I could get out of this room. There has to be a way.
“I need to use the bathroom,” I blurt out without thinking, as if being any more naked around this man is a good idea when he insists on coming with me.
His eyes flash up to meet mine before they move over my body again. “You’ll have to wait.”
“Unless you want me to pee on this rather expensive-looking couch, I don’t think I can wait.” I feed as much desperation into my plea as I can, hoping the acting classes I took when I was a kid are enough to pull off my hardest performance yet.
He glares at me from across the room before letting out an annoyed sigh. He clearly hasn’t thought through this idea of his that I’m going to become “his,” because relationships, forced or otherwise, are really fucking hard. There’s nothing convenient about caring about another person, but it’s so fucking worth it. It’s worth the anger and the tears. It’s worth the frustration and the fights. It’s worth everything to have someone who will always be in your corner.
What Spade wants is a toy. Someone who will wait at home for him to come back from committing whatever sins were required during that day and then lay down and spread her legs when she’s told to. I’m not that girl. If I love someone, I want to be right there by their side, fighting their demons with them. I don’t want to be a bystander in my own life.
The pain in my chest from being away from Doc only seems to deepen as the hours tick by, and the need to be in his arms grows more desperate.
He huffs out a sigh and pushes himself to his feet as he approaches me. It’s not exactly smart of me to bring him closer when he finally allowed me some distance, but if it’s a means to an end, it’s worth it.
He scoops me up without a word, and I force my body to remain limp as he trudges me out of the room with little regard for the fact I can see everything we pass, including the five guys sitting around the table in the kitchen playing cards. At least someone around here is having fun, because it sure as hell isn’t me.
The bathroom is only a few doors down from his office, and when he kicks open the door and I see a small window above the tub, my stomach bottoms out with a mix of terror and relief. Am I really going to try to escape? What if he catches me? What if he hurts the people I love as punishment? But what other choice do I have? I can’t stay here. I can’t sit here waiting for the moment he decides he’s going to rape me. I need to escape, and then I need to make a plan with Doc about how we can get my dad and Bree back.
He lowers me to the cool tiles, the pain in my bare feet almost too much for me to handle. I don’t think anyone has disinfected them from my run through the streets of Boston, and the longer that goes by, the more worried I am about getting an infection.
Without a word, he yanks my panties down my legs and sits me on the toilet before taking a step back and leaning against the basin, his eyes never leaving me.
My mouth drops open in surprise. “I’m not going to be able to pee while you’re watching!”
His eyebrows rise as he stares me down. “So you were able to pee on the couch with me sitting in the room, but not on the toilet?” he challenges.
Fuck.
I’m not sure how, but I didn’t consider the possibility that he would call my bluff. And somehow all I’ve managed is to put myself in an even more compromising position than I was in before.
Tears gather in my eyes, and I’m powerless to stop them from falling. I’ve never felt as hopeless as I do right now, and all I want is to curl up in Doc’s lap and watch a movie. Oh, what I would do for his commentary onThe Bachelorright now. To hear his gruff laugh and see the way his dark eyes light up when they see me.
Spade watches me with wide eyes, as if the idea of a woman crying is more terrifying than anything he’s faced in his life.
“Please,” I beg through my sobs. “I’m scared and my bladder is hurting because it’s been so long since I’ve used the restroom, and I know I can’t do it with you sitting there watching me like this. I can’t move, and my body is aching because I’ve been still for so long.” The sobs quickly turn into hysterical breathing as I force myself to allow all the hurt and pain to rise to the surface to make him as uncomfortable as I can. “Please.”
His eyes dart from me to the door before he nods and reaches for the handle. “You have sixty seconds, and then I’m coming straight back in.”
“Thank you.” I choke on the words.
Spade watches me for another second before he disappears through the door, clicking it closed behind him with a decisive click.
This might be my only chance to escape, so I need make it count.
CHAPTER SIXTY-TWO
DOC
I’m not sure what I was expecting when I was preparing myself to meet Nathan Hayes, but it’s not this.
He stands with his four sons, and if you weren’t looking closely, I doubt you’d be able to tell which one is the father of the group. He looks around at the men in the clearing a mile from the cabin we’re almost certain Isla is being kept in. But we can’t be sure, and that’s making it hard for us all to agree on a way forward.
Basically, the only thing we can all actually agree on is that we need to get her out sooner rather than later, but the more time we spend bickering over whose plan is better, the more tempted I am to just go it alone and save my wife myself.
