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I wanted her.
“What do the doctors say?” I asked, dragging my attention back to Jason.
His grandmother’s face softened. “That he got lucky. He always does.”
“I’m glad.” And I was–not for Jason’s sake, but for hers. I knew what it was like to lose someone you loved. I waited for bitterness to settle in that Jason had gotten lucky when Emma hadn’t. Instead, all I felt was that strange sense of peace again. I exhaled, grateful for it. I hadn’t realized how much of my life had been bound up in fear and anger and an almost detrimental determination to make sure I never experienced that kind of pain again. Now that the bonds of pain and loss were loosening, I could breathe better. I could live better.
I just had to get Quinn back. I stood up abruptly. What the hell was I doing at the bedside of Jason Cain when I should be chasing down the woman I loved?
“Leaving so soon?” Jason’s grandmother asked, unsurprised.
“I have to.” And I did. I couldn’t spend another minute in this hospital.
“Should I tell him you stopped by?” she asked shrewdly, pinning me with that unflinching stare again.
I thought for a second, then said, “No.” It wouldn’t make a difference to someone like Jason. Even if he miraculously remembered me pulling him out of the car, it wouldn’t changea damn thing. He would do what he wanted to do with Quinn’s contract.
“I will tell him,” she decided. “He should know.”
I didn’t question that. I just said goodbye to her and then couldn’t get away from that mammoth gray building fast enough. I even broke my no speedingrule. I was operating on instinct for the first several minutes I was in the car, and it wasn’t until I realized I was on the freeway, heading south, that I knew where I was going. Toward Quinn.
I’d called her enough over the last day to know that she wasn’t going to answer, so I called Renee instead. “I need your help,” I said when she answered. “I need to find Quinn.”
“Way ahead of you big brother.”
“You’re with her? Where is she?”
“She’s home. I just broke the news about Jason.”
“How’d she take it?”
A pause. “I’m not sure. She’s not acting like herself.”
“I’m on my way.”
Renee hesitated again. “I don’t know if that’s a good idea, Callum. She seems to think… and I’m not saying she’s right… but she thinks that you still haven’t dealt with Emma’s death. She thinks you see Emma sometimes instead of her.”
“I know what she thinks,” I said grimly. “And she’s right.”
The silence stretched down the line. Finally, Renee said heavily, “Then you shouldn’t come. Not until you’ve dealt with this. Go see someone who can help.”
“I think I have. I went to see Jason in the hospital today.”
Renee made a startled sound, somewhere between a squawk and a curse. “That’s not actually who I meant when I said see somebody. I meant–”
“I know,” I interrupted her. “But I’m telling you, something happened while I was there. I let her go.”
A long pause, and then, “You let Emma go while you were sitting at the bedside of scum like Jason Cain?” Renee asked doubtfully. “I’m no therapist, but that doesn’t sound right.”
“His grandmother was there, too. Maybe she had something to do with it. I don’t know.” I was running out of patience with my sister. “The point is, I need to see Quinn. Text me her address.”
I could feel my sister’s reluctance as she wrestled with her loyalty to her best friend and her loyalty to her brother. For what may have been the first time ever, I won out. She texted me the address.
“Tell her I’m coming,” I said, putting it in my GPS. “But tell her that if she doesn’t want to let me in, I’ll come back later. She doesn’t have to sneak away. I’m not Jason Cain.”
“She knows that, Callum.”
I thought about how hard I’d held onto her, how the urge to stop her from leaving had overridden reason. “I don’t know if she does. But she will.” I would make sure of that.
