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Her mouth turned down. “Well shit, Quinn. I’m pretty sure you promised not to do that.”
“No,” I shook my head. “I promised not to make him fall in love with me. And I don’t know if he is.”
That was disingenuous. I’d heard him that night. I’d told myself it didn’t mean anything; it was just in the throes of passion. But I was pretty sure Callum loved me back.
She studied my face for a long moment, and hers was uncharacteristically serious. “You have to besure, QC. You have to be absolutely sure. You can’t just walk away from him. He’s not like the other guys you’ve been with.”
“He’s nothing like them,” I agreed. “He’s a million times better.”
“And he has a kid.”
“A kid I love.” I studied Renee more closely. She looked exhausted by the idea of me being in love with her brother. Hurt wormed its way into my heart. “I could do this, Renee.”
“Do what?” she laughed–a dry, wry sound. “Leave LA? Become a Waterford Wife?”
“Yes. I mean, not the second part. But I could be–” the wordrealcame to mind. Again, I thought about all those faces of Quinn Collins I’d imaged as album covers. Images. Illusions. I could be my real self inThe Belles,and I could be my real self with Callum.
“You could be his last chance,” Renee said. She didn’t sound happy about it. “You don’t know what he’s been like since Emma died, Quinn. He shut down. He turned himself into a damn robot, trying to make sure nothing ever hurt him again. He was going to marry some fancy chick from the right side of town who looked good in a family portrait and die miserable. But then you came along.”
“Isn’t that a good thing?” I asked, confused.
“It could be agreatthing. If you’re sure.”
“I’m sure, Renee.” I walked closer so she could see the conviction beaming out of my eyes.
Renee didn’t want to look at me, but I stood there until she had to. She rolled her eyes with annoyance and then stared into mine. Whatever she saw there made her put her hands on my shoulders like she wanted to shake me, then pulled me in for a hug.
“You’resucha jerk,” she said into my hair.
“I know. But I really do love him.”
“Just be sure. That’s all I ask.”
CHAPTER 26
CALLUM
Ididn’t blame the rain for Emma’s accident. The delivery truck that blew the stop sign hadn’t been distracted by it. It hadn’t made it hard for either of them to stop–neither had tried. Emma had been taking her turn across the busy four-way stop. The delivery driver had been looking down at his GPS, wholly unaware he was supposed to stop. The rain was just part of the setting of the worst day of my life, and now I hated it. I didn’t smell fresh earth when it was done. I smelled death.
It took fifteen long minutes for Quinn to text me that she was at Jimmy’s, that all was well. Every single one of those minutes had ratcheted up the tension in my shoulders until I had to go find an aspirin to kill the start of a headache. When I came back down, Noah was opening the last bag of Lego pieces. His Donkey Kong Tree House was almost built. I stood and watched him for a minute, amazed as always that he was so big. Sometimes it felt like just yesterday that Emma and I were trading off getting up with him at night, carrying his tiny body in loops around the house until we felt him fall back to sleep.
As I watched him, the same feeling of warmth and wellbeing that I’d felt at Emma’s grave came back to me. For the first time in a long time, the sound of the rain pattering against the windows ceased to bother me.
Noah and I just managed to finish his Lego set before we had to get ready for the party. Noah had a dapper little button-down shirt with short sleeves and a skinny, hipster tie that Quinn had picked out. He didn’t look too sure about it as I clipped it on and adjusted the knot, but he didn’t ask to take it off, either. Quinn had bought me a shirt at the same time–a hint that I should wear something more casual than my usual work attire.
I pulled it over my head and realized that it was the first time in five years I was wearing something that someone else had bought me. It made the whole thing between
Quinn and me feel like maybe it could be permanent, but then I wondered if I was just grasping at straws. Building a flimsy foundation for the belief that she might stay forever.
She wanted to play with her old band.
She’d bought me a shirt.
“Get it together,” I muttered to my reflection in the mirror, and then we headed out.
I hadn’t been to Jimmy’s since the night Renee and Quinn graduated high school and we had their graduation party there. There was already buzz that some A&R guys had seenThe Belleson YouTube and were coming to check them out. I had clocked Jason Cain immediately because he was the only person in attendance that I didn’t recognize.
He was sitting at the bar, drinking a Coke. Emma and I had sat down next to him and ordered Cokes ourselves, but he never acknowledged us. Even then, he only had eyes for Quinn, and she was already on stage, explosive and beautiful with her insane hair, mesmerizing eyes, and smoky voice. She wore the guitar like she’d been born with the strap over her shoulder, and by then, I could hardly remember a time she didn’t have it within reach.
