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So I drop down to my knees and show her that I’m dead serious.
I’m done taking from her. All I am ever going to do from now on isgiveto her.
The silence stretches so long, I’m almost certain she’s done talking to me. But then she toes at a pebble and sighs. “I’m so scared, Demyen. No, scratch that—I’m fucking terrified. Not just of waking up to find out this has all been one long dream and I’m actually back in that… that…”
When she starts to choke up, I bound to my feet so I can pull her into my arms. There’s no fight in her body. Just fear, anxiety, and need.
She lays her head on my chest. Then buries her face in it.
“I’ve been so scared to love you. And it seems like every time I finally feel like we’re in a good place…Boom,just like that, we’re not.” I can feel the dampness of her tears on the skin at my throat. “I don’t care about money, or prestige, or swimming pools with marble fountains.” Clara sighs and pulls her face back to blink up at me. “All I’ve ever wanted was just you. And your respect. Not like, ‘Bow to me’ or anything. Just the respect you give to an equal. It’s all I’ve ever wanted from anyone in my life, and I just… I thought you’d finally be the first to give it to me. So if you’re going to give me anything, give me that. Just treat me like a human being. Like a person with thoughts and feelings, with dreams worth pursuing. Like someone who might actually be right once in a while.” Her voice grows very quiet very suddenly. “Like someone who loves you and only wants what’s best for you.”
I tilt her face up to look at me.Fuck, those long lashes sparkle with her tears and I want to kiss each and every one of them away. “I’ll do you one better. I’ll treat you like a queen.Myqueen.”
She blushes. She shakes her head, but oh, I definitely saw her blush. “I don’t want or need all that. I just want to be part of your world. Your life. Your team.”
I press my lips to her cheek and taste one of her tears as it rolls down her soft skin. “I love you, Clara Everett.” I press another kiss to her brow. “You’re not part of my world; youaremy world. You and Willow both. I can’t believe I was stupid enough to almost lose you. I’ll never stop proving to you that I mean it.”
She pulls away, but only enough to study my face. To see that every last bit of this is real.
And then,sweet merciful heaven, she kisses me.
14
CLARA
My world is spinning on a broken axis.
And yet somehow, I’m still in orbit.
Demyen loves me. Helovesme. He straight up told me, in no uncertain terms, that he loves me. That he’s been in love with me since that very first night at The Meridian.
We kissed, even though I didn’t say it back. He didn’t ask me to. I’m not sure I can right now, and somehow, it feels better knowing that he’s actually okay with it.
It’s not that Idon’tlove him.
It’s just… I don’t know if I’m able to give him the kind of love he deserves when I’m struggling to give it to myself.
The kind of love thatforgives.
Thatheals.
Thatforgets.
So what I did instead was kiss him. Kiss him, and pray that somehow he could feel in that kiss that I just need some more time to work through things.
I think maybe he did get a little bit of that? Because when we stepped back, we still held hands and stood close together. We walked out of the labyrinth together, side by side, and further down the path.
And then we kissed again.
And again.
We might have done a bit more if it weren’t for another small group of tourists crunching down the path toward us. Demyen laced his fingers with mine and led both of us out of there before anyone could stumble upon our naked, writhing limbs in the middle of make-up sex.
Now, we’re in the car, sitting in a semi-comfortable silence. Still holding hands, too, even though he’s driving.
It’s not that there’s any awkwardness between us. I think the “semi” part comes from the fact that we both know we have a mountain of issues to overcome if we’re going to make this work.
So I decide to take a big step of my own. “Hey.”
