AllFreeNovel
Share Us
I’m a full-grown woman.
A full-grown woman with a bone to pick.
I wrench my arm from Dad’s grasp and quickly snatch the phone from the floor. “What does it look like I’m doing, Dad? I’m getting the truth from you and making sure the right people hear it.”
Blood drains from his face. His anger waivers into fear, and then back into rage. “You… you little fucking bitch?—”
“Watch your tone with me.” I hold my hand up to stop him when he moves to grab me again. This time, I’m not scared of him. This time, I look him dead in the eyes. “I’m not your Clar-bear. I’m not your helpless little punching bag anymore.”
Dad sidesteps my arm and grabs my hair from behind, yanking it back hard. “You are my daughter! And you will do whatever thefuck I say!”
Like with Martin, I know he means it.
And like with Martin, I no longer have a problem with fighting back.
I reach behind me and claw at his face, his neck, any part of him I can touch. When I get a good idea of how close he’s standing behind me, I grab for his neck and squeeze. It does nothing. He even chuckles at my failure.
But then I figure out where his windpipe is and I jab my thumb into it.
Dad coughs and gags all at once, letting me go as he stumbles back. I spin around to face him, to glare at him, and to slap the shit out of his sputtering face. Once, twice—a backhand and abitch slap, just like he used to do to me whenever I talked back to him as a kid.
Tears sting my eyes.Fuck. I can’t show weakness. I can’t let him see me get emotional over this.
“Clara…” Dad coughs and slumps against the couch to regain his footing. “Baby, sweetie… I’m sorry.”
What? He never apologizes to me. Not with words, anyway. “I don’t have time for your mind games, Dad. Just… have a good night.”
He grabs my arm again when I try to leave. “Clara. Let’s start over. You’re my little girl, and who knows? Maybe I underestimated you. Maybe?—”
I bark out a laugh. “Maybe? Fucking hell, Dad! Wake the hell up. You’re an abusive son of a bitch who’d rather throw his own daughter to the wolves than man up and be a father.”
He frowns. “That’s not fair. Now, you know I love you?—”
I shake my head. “No. You don’t. The sad thing is, I don’t think you even know what love actually is. To you, it’s possession and control and getting everything you want; fuck who it hurts. But that’s not love, Dad.” I sigh. I’m too exhausted for this conversation. Too weary in too many ways. “Love is putting aside what you want for someone else. Love is going to the ends of the earth to do right by them. Love is learning how to let go and move on so everyone can be happy, not just you.”
Tears sting my eyes again.
I mean it. Every word. It’s just too little, too late for Demyen and me. This is the worst time ever to tell him how I feel and I’llnever get the chance to. I just have to find him and warn him about Raizo; my feelings will have to wait.
And he’s made it painfully obvious he doesn’t feel the same way about me, so it wouldn’t make sense to go there, anyway.
“Yeah, well…” Dad sighs and reaches for me. I think he might actually be gentle this time, but I am wrong yet again. He grabs me by my jaw and squeezes tight. “I’m your father, and that’s the end of this discussion. Understood?”
I don’t give him a response. I try to pull my head away, but he squeezes harder.
“I said,Do you understand?”
Still, not a word from me. I won’t give it to him.
But a wad of spit? I’m in the mood to givemanyof those.
The back of his hand cracks against the side of my face almost the same time my spit lands on his. For a dizzying second, I wonder if he gives Martin tutorials on how to hit a woman and it kind of makes me laugh.
He would. And Martin would eat that shit up.
The ground suddenly hits the back of my head. Dad must have shoved me while my head was still spinning, and now, he’s standing with one foot on my chest.
Like he owns me. Like he’s conquered me.
