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At first I think he hasn’t heard me — which is weird, because I’ve drunk enough to be practically yelling by this point. Then he glances over at me, and there’s a mixture of hope and confusion on his face that makes me want to lean over and kiss him.
“Are you angry?” I ask cautiously. “Because I know I shouldn’t have let you think it, but I also didn’t think it would matter that much to you, what with you and Violet being together anyway, you know?”
Jett clears his throat, the way he does when he’s nervous about something.
“Violet and me aren’t together either,” he says quietly. “We never have been. Violet’s the last person I’d want to be with, actually. So, no, I’m not angry. Just confused, I guess.” “You’reconfused? But I thought… It’s been all over the news? All that stuff about you two being back together?”
There’s a weird pounding in my head which is either an unwelcome side-effect of Ian’s cocktail-making skills, or my alcohol-soaked brain struggling to make sense of what I’m hearing.
Did hereallysay he’s not with Violet, or did I imagine it because that’s what I want to hear?
I dig my fingers into the seat beneath me, trying to steady myself.
I can’t let myself believe this is for real. It’ll hurt too much if it turns out to be wrong.
“You should know better than to believe everything you see in the media, Lexie,” says Jett. You of all people should know that. We’re just working together, that’s all. I never said any different.”
The pounding in my head gets louder. The palms of my hands are slick with sweat, and if I wasn’t holding onto my seat I know my hands would be shaking now.
“You said it was ‘complicated’,” I point out, the brief moment of vindication instantly ruined by the realization that ‘complicated’ isn’t the same as ‘not true’.
“It is.” He shrugs. “Violet wants us to get back together. Dad wants us to get back together. Duval wants—”
“Yeah, yeah, I get it,” I say impatiently. “But what doyouwant, Jett? Because that’s all I care about. Actually, no, wait: it isn’t. I think I’m going to be sick.”
Jett pulls the car to a screeching stop, and I open the door and stumble out, not quite sure if the sudden dizzyness that I’m experiencing is from the alcohol, or from the revelation that Jett’s still single.
He’s not with Violet. He’s not with Violet. He’s not with Violet.
I really need to think clearly about this, and what it means for me and him, but the words keep repeating in my ear, like the lyrics to an old favorite song, and they’re all I can think about.
“You okay?”
Jett gets out of the car and comes to join me. He’s pulled over not far from my house, at a part of the coast road where the busy promenade that runs the length of the town starts to peter out,giving way to the long grass and sand dunes that lead down to the beach. I lean against the fence that separates the sand from the road and take deep breaths until I feel like I can speak.
“I read that you and Violet were buying a house together,” I say, looking down at my hands — which, sure enough, are trembling slightly with nerves. “In Heather Bay. Well, outside it. There were pictures of the two of you looking at it. I saw them, Jett. Tonight, actually.”
I don’t tell him that’s the reason — or one of the reasons — I was out there in the cold when he found me, rather than somewhere warm and safe and… well,normal, I guess.
But then, nothing about me and Jett has ever been particularly ‘normal’, has it? So why should tonight be any different?
He looks out at the waves instead of at me.
“Iwas thinking about buying the house,” he says. “Forme. Not for her. Violet just tagged along when I met the realtor. I asked her not to, but she got into the car anyway, and I was running late, so I guess I just went along with it. I went along with a lot of things I shouldn’t have. I’m sorry. I really am.”
“But I thought—?”
“I know what you thought,” Jett says grimly. “And I let you think it, because I was jealous. I was so jealous at the thought of you and McTavish that I could barely think straight, Lexie. It’s been driving me mad.”
“But… but that’s why I let you think me and McTavish were together,” I say, not sure whether to laugh or cry. “BecauseIwas jealous of you and Violet.”
“Well, like I said, we’re quite the pair.” Jett smiles, then looks quickly away.
“Were you really thinking of moving here?” I ask quietly. “For real?”
“Yeah,” he says after a pause. “Not permanently, obviously. But I like it here. I like how peaceful it is; well, most of the time,anyway. And I thought it might be nice to have a place out here that I could come to sometimes, to… well, to be close to you, I guess. I suppose I thought that if I was here, I might bump into you from time to time.”
“And you’d like that?”
