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“Why did you pretend not to understand Italian?”
“That’s not an answer,” I retorted. “Have you slept with anyone else since we made our baby?” I wasn’t sure why that was so important to me, but it was. I was more sad than mad that he'd brought Charlotte to “our spot.”
“For God’s sake, Tylar, lower your voice,” he pleaded, looking around at nearby tables where a few snickers could be heard.
“I’m waiting,” I said, quieter, arms crossed. I tapped one of my stilettos impatiently against the leg of my chair. Trey leaned in close, looking directly into my eyes.
“No, the answer to your question, to both of your questions is ‘no.’”
I believed him but my feelings were still raw. The server brought our salads and warm bread on a cutting board. My hunger had dissipated. I needed some answers.
“I know that you were seeing Charlotte again, Trey. I remember that you made it a point one night of blowing me off because she was at the manor with you.”
“Tylar, as God as my witness, I've never done more than kiss the witch. I promise you that. If you recall, I thought that you were seeing Mark…that you two were involved. It hurt me. As sophomoric as it sounds, I admit that I used Charlotte to show you that I was getting on with my life.”
“I see,” I said, keeping my emotions in check. “So Trey, you thought that I was seeing Mark. Did you think that I was sleeping with him, too?”
“Yes, the thought crossed my mind, more often than I liked as a matter of fact.” He visibly blanched at that question.
“So you admit you were behaving sophomorically in trying to get on with your life. I can’t believe that hooking up with Charlotte wouldn’t have occurred to you. Maybe it would have given you some closure in some way on our relationship?”
He lowered his head and I could tell by his body language I'd hit pay dirt. “I’m going to be honest with you Tylar, because you deserve that and it might sound messed up, but it's the truth.”
Oh God, what's he going to tell me?
“I know everything about your sexual history; you know none of mine. That’s not fair and I believe that you have a right to know. So here it is. The first girl I was ever with was Tess. I was 17, she was 16. I was faithful to her until she ended it. After that, I didn’t get involved in relationships. I'd no desire to ever put myself in a situation that would devastate me like that again.”
He took a sip of his wine and continued. “I’ve had casual dates that included casual sex with several women over the past few years since Tess. That’s probably what Charlotte would have been to me had I not met you. Once the woman wanted an exclusive relationship, I bailed. I’m not proud of that, but it's the truth.”
He paused as our entrées arrived. “After you left me, I called Charlotte. I wanted something to distract me from the emptiness I felt. It was a mistake.”
I kept silent, waiting for him to continue. I knew there was more.
“We dated off and on, Tylar. I was spending more time in Atlanta since you left. Until then, nothing had happened between Charlotte and me, though I knew that she was willing. She came to spend a weekend with me in Atlanta. We went out drinking. I was struggling to get over you.”
He stopped, took another drink of his wine, and I saw a smile flicker across his face. What did he find amusing about any of this? I felt that I was on the verge of being crushed.
“We were in the limo on the way back to my apartment. Charlotte was trying her best to seduce me. Don’t get me wrong, I'd every intention of hooking up that night. I wanted to wash away the emptiness. She unzipped my fly and went down on me.”
I don’t want to hear this!
“Nothing happened,” he said, “I couldn’t even get an erection. She wasn’tyou. I hadn’t even touched her. She disgusted me. I finally told her to sit up. I put my flaccid cock back into my pants and told the driver to take her to the Marriott close to my apartment. I handed her $500 and told her to get a room for the night, that I'd ship her luggage back to her.”
How humiliating for her, I thought. My hormones were giggling and snickering. “What'd she say to you?” I asked, genuinely curious.
“I believe she called me an impotent faggot and told me to burn in hell,” he smiled, showing his dimple. I couldn’t resist laughing.
“Well, I mean eventually you'd have been able to perform sexually I’m sure,” I commented.
“I hope I never have to test your theory,” he responded. “So am I forgiven?”
“Trey, you don’t need to ask for forgiveness. I’m relieved that you couldn’t get it up; I won’t lie about that. I don’t like thinking about you being with anyone else, but given your past with Tess, I see why you can be emotionally distant.”
He nodded and reached out, capturing a lock of my hair between his fingers.
“Can I ask you a personal question that doesn’t pertain to me?”
“Go ahead,” he said, still rubbing my lock of hair.
