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“Mmhm, see,” Hayden said, doling out my tacos and his bowl onto the plates I laid out, setting a bag of chips between us to share.
“Okay, fine, your wisdom prevails again,” I said, rolling my eyes as I unwrapped the foil from my first taco.
We ate in silence for a few minutes, the crinkle of paper and crunch of chips accompanying the ambient sounds of the city fifteen stories below us as background noise.
“So, tomorrow. Big day, huh?” Hayden said, scooping more of his burrito bowl onto his fork.
“Just potentially life changing for both of us. No big deal,” I joked, the dryness of my tone revealing my true nerves.
“So, uh, yeah, for both of us. As individuals and a collective us, right?” Hayden said.
“Yes, that’s true,” I said casually, like I hadn’t thought of this exact topic in quiet moments over the past week.
“You’re pitching a lot of ideas to Paula tomorrow. Is there one you want more than others?”
“Well, I think my heart and soul is invested in this community-owned bookstore idea. But there’s always the chance Paula thinks it’s a great idea and wants to make it happen, but won’t let me work on it, given my personal investment in Ridge Reads.”
“Hmm,” Hayden hummed affirmatively.
“Of the open positions Paula gave me to look at, I think I’m most interested in either the fundraising role, which would keep me here in DC or the membership engagement associate job. That job would have me traveling around visiting our different member stores across the country, seeing what they need from us or how we can help them given our existing services they may not be taking advantage of. With that job, I’m not sure where I would be based. Maybe back in Holly Ridge at my parents’ house since I’d be traveling so much. Save on rent.”
I bit my lip as I snuck a peek at Hayden’s face, which gave nothing away.
“Well, they’re definitely going to offer you something. I think Paula giving you that list of positions all but confirms that.”
I nodded. “I hate feeling this confident, because I feel like I’m going to jinx something, but I think you’re right. My nerves are more related to the uncertainty of what’s next.”
Hayden let out a breath.
“I feel that. I can’t decide if Duncan is going to scream at me for wasting his time and not want to hear another word from me or just rip apart my proposal as a dumb idea when he hears it.”
“Or he could love it and have input on how to make it better, Mr. Negative.”
“Yeah, I guess.” Hayden looked like a lost little boy and I’d never seen him this way before.
I spun in my seat so I was fully facing Hayden.
“I know I don’t know Duncan, considering he’s been gallivanting around Europe the whole time we’ve known each other, but from what you’ve told me, he loves you and wants what’s best for you.”
“Yeah, as long as it doesn’t mess with his bottom line.”
“I have a hard time believing that even his money would stand in the way of wanting you to be happy. Support and love seems to be what the Brandt family is built on.”
“I know you’re right. It’s just hard to remember we’re both functional adults when sometimes I still feel like I’m thirteen, watching my big brother work hard to keep our family together when he was just a kid himself. I just want to make him proud.”
I put my hand on Hayden’s arm. “You will. By going after what you want and not what you think everyone else wants. He’ll know he helped raise you right.”
Hayden tangled his fingers in mine.
“So,” I said slowly, afraid of the answer. “What did all that market research tell you was the best place for you to start your business?”
“Well, there’s Atlanta, Nashville, Palo Alto, and then, Washington DC. Assuming you’re right, I’m hoping Duncan might have some suggestions and connections.”
“All big cities. All over the country… huh,” I said, my eyes focused on where our hands joined.
“It does seem that way, but cities have suburbs. I’m hoping I could find a happy medium.” His voice sounded uncertain as his thumb rubbed the back of my hand.
“So. Sounds like it might be a bigger day for each of us rather than the collective us tomorrow,” I said, after a strained silence.
