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I didn’t answer, not knowing what to say.
“Well, goodbye, Charlotte.”
“Bye, Mom.”
I sat with the phone in my hand, staring at nothing. I may not be a child anymore, but that conversation destroyed the childlike notion that there was anything I could do that would be acceptable to my parents outside of falling into line. I knew she hated I had left for this opportunity, but I thought if I could show her the good I could do with the IBA, she would come around. Instead, she wouldn’t even listen to me long enough for me to make my case to her.
My bladder chose that moment to remind me it needed my attention, and I walked to the bathroom in a daze, no longer giving weight to whether Hayden would be waiting for me when I exited. Going through the motions, I sat there, my head in my hands, not sure where to go from here. Existential dread on the toilet. This had to be a new low.
Getting up to wash my hands, I looked at myself in the mirror. Looking back at me was the girl I had always known—blond hair, button nose, round cheeks. It was her eyes that looked different to me now. They looked lost, unsure what to do next. I truly believed I could do more for the book world with an organization like the IBA than I could running a small-town bookstore. But could I live knowing that may irrevocably break something between my parents and me? Did it have to be my happiness or theirs? Denying myself what I had been working toward, what I wanted?
A cheer trickled in from the living room, the sound of Hayden’s exuberance over some football play or another. Hayden. He represented another chance to live for myself, to make myself happy. And I was denying that for what, to focus on an internship that I already loved, was already good at, and was already over-dedicated to? Was I shoving myself into an emotional small-town box by not experiencing what Hayden had to offer, what we could be together?
I saw the eyes of the girl in the mirror morph from sadness to determination. If being in DC was all about doing things for myself, then that was going to include doing the handsome man on the other side of the bathroom wall.
I stalked out of the bathroom, headed toward the living room. Hayden’s broad shoulders were wrapped in a tight T-shirt visible over the back of the couch. I came to stand in front of the chaise part of the sectional, my eyes taking in the way Hayden’s threadbare blue shirt clung to chest as well. He wore tight grey joggers again, because apparently, he couldn’t wear anything else but the sexy man-pant uniform around the house.
“Charlotte?” Hayden asked while his eyes traveled from my feet, up over my bare legs, pausing at the line where my long T-shirt stopped at the top of my thighs, before traveling up to meet my eyes.
“This an important game?” I asked, my eyes back on his crotch, where his dick was making itself noticeable against his right thigh. Blessed joggers.
“Well, I mean it’s Red Zone, so it’s not just one game but?—”
“Perfect,” I said, crossing the last few feet between us and lowering myself until I straddled his lap then crashing my mouth to his.
Hayden sat still for a few seconds, just long enough for me to panic that perhaps my pouncing was too aggressive, before he let out a delicious groan into my mouth. He wrapped his arms around my waist and met the strokes of my lips. Opening for me without any prompting, the kiss deepened and I felt our teeth clink with the fervor of our kiss.
Hayden pulled back.
“Whoa, wait. Charlotte, are you okay?”
“I’m fine,” I said, trying to get his mouth back on mine.
“But did something happen? Last night, you were steadfast that this… we couldn’t happen.”
If he was determined to use his mouth for talking, I’d take my lip’s talents elsewhere. I started kissing the side of his neck, headed toward his ear, finding a spot behind it that made his hips hitch up when I licked it.
“That was last night. This is now,” I said as I continued my trail of kisses down his neck, across his throat and up the other side.
“This is now…” Hayden groaned, tilting his head to give me more access to his throat, which I gladly lavished with attention.
Bringing my mouth back to his, he kissed me passionately for a moment before pulling back again and putting his hands on my arms, holding me still, shaking his head.
“Okay, Charlotte, seriously. Something had to happen.”
I blew out a heavy breath, feeling some hairs that had crossed in front of my face during my ministrations lift with the air.
“I just talked to my mom.”
“Sexy,” Hayden said, smirking at me, but his eyes held a look of concern.
I laughed in spite of the heaviness of the conversation.
“She just made it very clear that no matter what I did here, the only thing she expects from me is to fall in line and come back home. I’m not sure I’ll ever find a solution that makes us both happy, so I decided I wanted to chase happiness here. While I can.”
“So she wants you to go home and work at the store after the internship is over?”
“Yup. All she wanted to do was talk about me coming home for Thanksgiving.”
