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“I did.”
“Then what’s the issue?” I yell, letting my fatigue and irritation over her absence this last week to get the better of me.
“Seriously, Keaton, you’re going to have to tell me what the hell the problem is, or else I can’t fix it,” I say, getting more fed up by the minute.
“You can’t fix everything, Bodhi,” she snaps, and I watch as something comes to life in her eyes.
Finally.
I’d rather fight with her than watch her give up completely.
“The fuck I can’t,” I challenge, knowing that she hates when I try to fix shit for her. I know that she doesn’t need me to. She’s strong enough to handle her shit on her own. She’s proved that. But damn it, she shouldn’t have to. And she won’t, so long as I’m around.
“You are so infuriating,” she huffs, rolling her eyes.
“Oh? Then what does that make you?” I say, eyebrows climbing my forehead with the accusation.
She squeezes her fists at her sides, and I wonder whether she’s actually going to swing at me. If that’s what she needed to get past this shit, I’d let her do it.
“Done. I’m leaving,” she says, rolling her eyes before turning away from me.
“Leaving?”
“Yes, leaving,” she calls back over her shoulder as she starts walking down my driveway, back toward the gate.
“What? You think you’re just gonna walk home?” I say incredulously, because there’s just no way I’d let that happen. She could swear on everything holy that she hated me, and I’d still offer to drive her home. Barefoot and all.
“That’s not your concern,” she says dismissively.
Fuck that.
“Bullshit!” I shout at the back of her head and watch as she jerks to a stop, rigid as she turns back to me.
“Excuse me?”
Chapter 31
“Bull. Fucking. Shit,” he says, enunciating each word, ensuring I don’t miss a single one. I don’t. I also don’t miss the way he takes a step closer with each one, but I don’t back down. I stand my ground, ready to prove my point.
“I am not yours to be concerned with,” I say, eyes wild and chest heaving.
“Yet here I stand.” He spreads his arms wide to either side of him, as if I could miss his towering frame. He sucks up all the oxygen around us. Not even the wind dares to blow, and I swear I forget how to breathe.
“Well, you shouldn’t be,” I whisper, feeling myself deflate. I don’t want to fight with him. I know I have to if I want to keep him away, and that’s the problem. I don’t want to anymore, even though my head is telling me I need to. My heart wants to give in.
“But I am. Get used to it,” he says, and I know this is not an argument I’ll win. Not today, and at this moment, I hope I never do. Not that I’d ever admit that out loud.
I stand there, staring up into his eyes, wanting nothing more than to just tell him to forget the last ten minutes happened and go back to bed. I know that he won’t.
One thing I’ve learned about Bodhi is that his loyalty knows no bounds. He would do anything I asked of him without a moment’s hesitation, and that shit scares me. He’s going to find out all the shit I’ve been hiding eventually, and want to charge in and fix it all for me, and only end up hurt.
Or worse.
But am I really so selfish that I’ll disregard his safety for the chance to keep him? I think that maybe I am, and that fact only makes me want to run away more.
“You don’t deserve this,” I say, voice soaked through with tears.
“Deserve what?” His eyes search mine, but he won’t find the answers he’s looking for in them, and I don’t have the energy for anything more than half-truths at the moment.
