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My mother with her head in her hands, sobbing uncontrollably. The realization that it was too late. There was nothing left to be done.
Seeing my girl lie there, not moving, not breathing on her own, beat to hell… it breaks me.
I take a staggering step backward, dizzy with fear, and the room feels like it’s closing in around me. It's a terrifying, overwhelming feeling. One of helplessness and fear. Like I have no control over the situation and my entire world is crumbling around me.
“Bodhi?” Regina says my name, but I don’t answer. I need to leave this room.
I turn for the door, unsteady on my feet.
“Hey,” Sander reaches for me as I exit, but I shove him off.
I need to leave.
I can’t breathe.
The hallway is extremely bright compared to Keaton’s room. I blink several times, in a daze, as I walk in the opposite direction from which we came. Nurses pass by me, probably wondering what my problem is.
I turn a corner and come face to face with my best friend.
Chapter 67
“Bodhi?” Milo reaches out and grabs me, letting me sink into him.
He takes most of my weight, keeping me upright as I struggle through my panic attack.
“Just breathe,” he says, leading us to a more secluded corner of the waiting room, shielding me from view.
The smell of this place makes me sick. I draw in deep breaths through my mouth, trying not to vomit. The tunnel vision and ringing in my ears aren’t helping matters.
It takes a few minutes with my head hanging between my knees before everything settles back to normal.
“What happened?” Milo asks as I lift my arms and prop them up on my knees. I wipe sweat from my brow and shake my head.
“It was just too much.”
“What was?”
“The call. The drive here. The smell and sound of that damn room… seeing her like that,” I say, unable to shake the image of Keaton from my mind. “Everything hit me at once, I guess.”
“But she’s okay, right?” Milo asks. It didn’t dawn on me until now that he wouldn’t have been able to get any updates about her since he wasn’t family. “I only saw her when they brought her in. That’s when I called you.”
“She uh… she’ll be okay. At least that’s what her mom and Sander said. She’s pretty banged up, though.” I say, sniffing.
“Is she awake?”
I shake my head, hot tears rolling freely down my cheeks.
“Damn,” he says, and I nod once.
“What happened?” I ask, my voice hoarse and whispering.
“I was at the shop, working, and some guy called in. He said he found her car. He was looking in the glove box for a name so he could call for help and found the invoice from the repairs in the glove box. I guess he heard the crash — he’s a security guard at the quarry — and drove out to investigate. He said he found the Camaro at the bottom of the cliff at The Curve,” Milo explains.
She drove out there by herself after our fight. I was supposed to be there with her, to help her practice. But no, I had to lie to her. If I hadn’t lied, that shit my dad said wouldn’t have phased her the way it did. We would have left together, and everything would be alright.
Logically, I know I'm not to blame for her accident, but I can't help but feel at fault.
"When he told me the car's make, I knew it was Keaton. He dragged her out of the car. Said that she was breathing, but that he didn't want to leave her inside in case of an explosion," Milo continues to explain.
