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Bodhi holds me close, his fingers trailing up and down my arm, and I mull over the pros and cons of opening up to him. In the end, I decide that regardless of what he knows, he can’t tell me what to do or how to deal with my problems, so I draw in a deep breath and start.
“Do you remember me telling you about my brother and how he raced for Mateo?”
I feel Bodhi stiffen beneath me, his hand pausing for the briefest of seconds before he settles back into the seat and continues the movement.
“Yeah,” he says, and I can hear the caution in his voice, afraid to act too interested in case I stop talking.
I almost chuckle but hold back.
“And I told you about how Mateo expected a certain amount of money from Eli after winning the races?” I hedge, approaching the topic with ease. I know what pain Mateo is responsible for in Bodhi’s life, and I know this isn’t going to be easy for him to hear. But I’ve already started. There’s no going back now.
“Yeah?” He answers, suspicion heavy in his tone.
“Well, that didn’t go away just because Eli did.”
Bodhi leans away from me, just enough to look down at me, and I can see the fire spark in his eyes as I continue.
“It was probably a month or so after he’d been sentenced. Ma and I were beside ourselves. We were scrambling to try to figure out how exactly we were going to pay the bills. There had already been so many times we’d come close to losing the house. And that was when Mateo first showed up.” I pick at a loose thread at the hem of Bodhi’s shirt, forehead creasing as I recall that first encounter.
“He and two of his friends showed up one day while Ma was at church, praying for Eli. I was alone in the garage, crying and upset when he walked in.”
“What the fuck?” Bodhi hisses beneath his breath, but I continue before he can say more.
“I’d met him once before when I went to a race with Eli, but I got a bad vibe from him, so when he showed up out of nowhere, I knew it couldn’t be good,” I say, recalling that day with annoyance. “He explained how he’d welcomed my brother into his crew, let Eli use his personal vehicles to race, and that he cut him a deal wherein Eli would pay him so much money from every race.”
“Yeah, and he did, right?” Bodhi asks, eyes scanning my face as I continue.
“Eli said that the second he decided he wanted out, the deal they struck was null and void, and Mateo demanded a much larger amount of money, stating that he’d only previously collected a ‘friends and family’ fee.”
“That motherfucker,” Bodhi snaps, and I look up just in time to see the nerve in his jaw muscle tick under the strain of his gritted teeth.
I don’t want to shatter the little bubble we're in, but I know I need to finish and get this out, regardless of how Bodhi is taking it.
Resting my head against his chest, I continue.
“It didn’t matter that Eli wasn’t around anymore, apparently. Mateo expected his money one way or another, and he’d showed up that day to let me know.”
“Are you fucking serious?” Restrained rage colors every word.
“Yep. He told me that Eli’s debt had transferred over to me, and that he’d be courteous in giving me a month to deal with my brother’s situation, but when that time was up, he’d be ready to collect,” I say, sighing heavily, knowing that the worst of it is still to come.
“What the fuck?” Bodhi sits up in the lounger, jostling me from where I sat leaning against him. Moving aside, I turn toward him, pulling my leg up and tucking it beneath me.
Knowing that his question is rhetorical, I don’t bother answering it.
“Obviously, I didn’t have the kind of money he was asking for,” I say.
“How much?”
“More than even you could pay off,” I scoff, sick at the absurdity of it all.
“Jesus, Keaton,” he says, dropping his head into his hands.
I toy with my fingers in my lap, not sure how he’d respond to me reaching out to soothe him. I’ve never really dealt with him angry before.
“What happened after that?” he asks.
“I told him I didn’t have the money, that I was too busy taking care of my mom to worry about some stupid debt my brother owed. So, his guys vandalized the front yard, smashing in windows,” I say, remembering everything like it was yesterday.
