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“Are you stepping back in?” she asks, glancing at me curiously.
“Actually, I’m just taking him back,” the nurse shifts her attention to me as Sander gestures towards me.
“Are you family?” she asks. I open my mouth to tell her I’m not, but Sander answers first.
“Yeah, he’s her boyfriend. Just got back into town.”
The statement shocks me, until I realize he must think Keaton and I are still dating.
She nods, before telling Sander to let her know if we need anything, and then he’s leading the way down the hall. He stops suddenly outside a closed door and turns to face me.
“I don’t know how much you were told, but just a heads up, she looks bad. Regina has been with her all day,” he says, and I try to prepare myself mentally for what I’m about to see.
Sander turns the door handle and slowly pushes it open, just enough to poke his head inside.
He says something I can't make out before stepping back and gesturing for me to go inside. I take a deep, wavering breath and step into the room.
This entire moment seems surreal. Panic sets in as I step into the sterile environment. Machines hum in the background, and a low, constant beeping fills the air. The room is dim, lit only by a single overhead light in the corner of the room.
Regina rises from her seat beside Keaton’s bed and shuffles toward me. Her red-rimmed eyes fill with tears, and she pulls me down into a crushing embrace.
“Oh, Bodhi,” she cries, her hiccupping sobs shaking my chest.
I hold her close on instinct, trying to comfort her, but my eyes are glued to the motionless form on the bed behind us.
Keaton.
Bruises cover her face from her forehead to her jaw. Her lip is split and swollen, and a large scrape covers most of her right cheekbone. Her eye is swollen shut, mottled with black and purple bruises.
She’s surrounded by all these beeping machines. Tubes and wires connect them all to her body. Some monitor her heart. Some monitor her brain. An IV filled with undecipherable fluid and a breathing tube taped over her mouth.
Regina releases me and steps back, wiping under her eyes with a tissue, sniffling as she tries to compose herself.
My eyes travel the length of her body, landing on the cast that covers most of her hand and forearm. As if she knows exactly where my gaze has settled, Regina speaks.
“She fractured her wrist. The doctor thinks it's from bracing her hands against the steering wheel when she landed.
Landed.
I’m afraid to ask what that means.
“She’s so lucky it wasn’t worse,” I hear her say just before my hearing fades away to a high-pitched ringing. Sweat breaks out across my brow, and I can’t catch my breath.
Flashes of that day in the hospital two years ago play through my mind. Walking in and seeing my brother’s lifeless body lying there on the hospital bed. The room smells so similar to his.
My mother with her head in her hands, sobbing uncontrollably. The realization that it was too late. There was nothing left to be done.
Seeing my girl lie there, not moving, not breathing on her own, beat to hell… it breaks me.
I take a staggering step backward, dizzy with fear, and the room feels like it’s closing in around me. It's a terrifying, overwhelming feeling. One of helplessness and fear. Like I have no control over the situation and my entire world is crumbling around me.
“Bodhi?” Regina says my name, but I don’t answer. I need to leave this room.
I turn for the door, unsteady on my feet.
“Hey,” Sander reaches for me as I exit, but I shove him off.
I need to leave.
