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I can see the sincerity in his eyes, and I don’t know how I never noticed before. He’s been on the sidelines my whole life, there for me when he could be, being a father in the only way he was allowed to be.
A talk with my mom is definitely in order. I deserve to know what happened and why she let my dad force Rob to stay away from me for so long.
“Her mom said you had some soul searching to do, and something told me this is where you’d start,” he says when I don’t immediately respond.
Nodding, I exit the cemetery and walk alongside Rob as we head back toward our cars.
“I know this has all been a lot to process, and I understand if you’re angry, but please give me a chance to explain,” he says. “It doesn’t have to be today, or even tomorrow, but I want the chance to make things right. I’ll do whatever it takes.”
I stare at him, knowing that this is a moment that will set the tone for my future. I could tell him to fuck off and drive away in a rage, or I can choose to understand that everyone makes mistakes, me included, and give him the opportunity he’s asking for.
I know what kind of future I want. It’s time to take it.
“You’re right. I am angry, but not how you think. I’ll let all of you make your peace, because I think you deserve that. But also, because I deserve it,” I say, watching his eyes shine with tears.
“I’m not ready to talk about it right now, but I want to. Soon,” I say.
“Just say when, kid,” he says, a hopeful smile tugging at the corners of his mouth.
“I will,” I return his smile. “I want to make up for lost time, but I know that won't all happen overnight. Not to mention how Maddie is going to take this,” I say, thinking about my cousin, who is actually my sister.
“She’ll come around to the idea. She’s always loved hanging out with you. I think it me she’s angrier with, and I can accept that,” he says, dropping his head in shame.
I wonder if he does feel shame over this ordeal. Or if it’s more over the secrets he’s kept over the years.
“Just give her time, old man. Give us all time. We’ll figure shit out,” I shrug, hoping to lighten the moment.
“We will. But if there's anything I can do in the meantime, you name it,” he offers and the thought that’s been circulating for the last forty-eight hours jumps to the front of my mind.
“Actually, there is something,” I start, looking him in the eyes.
“What is it?” His eager tone gives me the courage to voice the thing I’ve wanted to say for a long time now.
“I want out of the family business,” I say, then repeat with more certainty. “I want out of Kane’s Racing.”
Bodhi
“You want out?” Rob repeats slowly.
“Yeah, I have for a while,” I say, leaning back against the hood of my car, hands in my pockets.
A cool breeze picks up, lifting my hair from my forehead with every gust.
“Okay,” he nods slowly, taking in what this means. “Why am I only just now hearing about this?”
“I don’t know. I went into it thinking that I had to help pick up the pieces after Tommy died. Dad didn’t help matters,” I say, and note that Rob doesn’t flinch or react to me referring to his brother as my dad. He never has. Like it was something he had to learn to accept a long time ago, no matter how true it was.
“Didn’t help, how?” he asks, brows drawn together in concern.
“You really want me to narrow it down to just one thing?” I joke and he chuckles.
“He definitely isn’t always the easiest person to be around,” he admits.
“Why is that? Mom always said that was just how he was, but it has to have started somewhere. You aren’t just born an asshole,” I say.
What do I know, though? Maybe he did.
“Thompson was always afraid of being left out when we were growing up. You’d think that he’d have taken that into consideration when you and Tommy were younger, but clearly the grudge he held against me, he took out on you,” he says, his eyes apologetic.
