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Kids hadn’t exactly been rude, but we’d stood out in a sea of Chrises and Matts.
“I can see that.” Eli probably understood it as well, but he didn’t focus on that. “Were you always just friends?”
That felt like I trick question but I found myself nodding slowly. “Yes, Ender’s always had a thing for big jocks.”
I was not a big jock.
I was tall and lean and more into chess than anything that resembled a high school sport. I’d filled out over the past few years and was now actually going to the gym regularly, but it would never turn me into some kind of bro dude guy like Ender usually lusted after.
“Because he actually likes large men or he likes the commanding energy they can bring to a relationship?” Eli asked the mind-blowing question as Ender seemed to want to dive into his cup.
“I…” Thinking about the question had my brain grinding to a halt for a few seconds. “I don’t know anymore. Before I would’ve assumed it was the large stature and muscles, but now I don’t know.”
Ender’s face was flashing between red and white as his body tried to decide if he was in shock or just embarrassed, but watching the color change like he was a live-action mood ring gave me a moment to think.
“He’s always attracted nice guys, and just as they get started, things fizzle out.” How had I not noticed the pattern?
“Yeah, too nice to do dirty things to you, it’s the hardest part of dating. You find a guy who looks like he could bend you over the kitchen table and fuck you into next week and they turn out to be subs too.” Eli said the craziest things like he was just talking about his plans for the rest of the day.
It was so hard to sort out it took me running through it several times in my head before I realized what he’d said. “He wants a dominant partner?”
As Eli nodded, Ender carefully placed his cup down on the coffee table we’d finally been able to save up for and leaned back against the couch. I thought he just needed to breath for a second until he tugged the blanket on the back of the couch over his head.
Ah.
Eli smirked but didn’t seem to find Ender’s hiding strange enough to comment on…probably because he knew stranger people. “I think so. It goes with who he’s been picking to date and how he watches the puppy shoots much more intently than you guys do the other ones.”
How had I not noticed that?
I knew I was stuck on that issue, but it felt too important to let go. “I didn’t…”
Tea.
Breathe.
Thoughts.
“When are the puppy shoots usually done? I know I’ve seen a handful of them but I can’t remember him treating them differently.” Pieces weren’t coming together into a real picture yet, but it felt like we were getting closer.
“When you’re working.” Ender’s helpful response was slightly muffled but he got the point across. “You usually have your headphones on so you don’t notice what I’m doing.”
“Thank you.” Well, at least some of that was cleared up.
Eli seemed more confused than ever, though. “Where do you work that you don’t notice what he’s doing?”
Oh, good question.
I pointed up toward the loft area. “I know it’s bad for my back, but I have a cozy setup on my bed.”
I’d regret it at some point, but I wasn’t there yet.
“Ah.” But just as his frown cleared, it came back. “Your bed?”
Ender groaned, so I took that to mean he was done being helpful. “Yes, it’s larger than it looks up there and we have two beds.”
Eli cocked his head. “How do you jerk off? If you’re not in a conventional relationship then I’m assuming you’re not having sex. So?”
I managed not to gape too long but I probably looked like a fish for a few seconds. “The shower.”
