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I was very guilty…but he was right, that wouldn’t help at the moment. So I mimicked his stance and tried to imagine that I was lying to my family.
“Better.” Leif’s nod made it easier to keep going. “Good job.”
I could do it.
“One.” The crazy man started counting making us both wince.
“He’s just as dramatic in person as he is at work.” Leif’s dryly delivered comment made me want to smile. He’d spent the last couple of months saying it had to be an act for the camera, but clearly, it wasn’t.
He owed me five bucks and he had to clean the bathroom for the next month.
I was really hoping being right would be worth it.
Leif unlocked the door.
“Can I help you?” His snobby tone sounded very real, but I was close enough that I could feel him shaking. “You seem lost.”
He was very good at pretending to be a snobby asshole…even the drama queen stopped glaring and gazed at us quietly and seemingly slightly confused.
“I’ve seen you naked.”
Oh, I wished he’d kept screaming because that one was aimed at me.
Leif barely managed not to laugh, but I knew him well enough that he couldn’t hide how funny he was starting to find the situation.
His sense of humor was going to get me in trouble.
“Where have I seen you naked?” The crazy man cocked his hip, resting one hand on it as he studied me more thoroughly. “I remember you having a very nice cock when it was soft. Most men just look like they have small rats hanging from the front of them when they’re not erect. It’s not their fault. It’s usually a show-er versus grower problem.”
How did it keep getting more and more insane?
“Thank you?” Was that the right response?
He’d complimented me, right?
Leif was almost shaking he was trying to hold back his laughter so hard but that didn’t help me to know what to say.
“You’re welcome.” The crazy man took my response seriously and nodded like he’d deserved it. “But that doesn’t tell me where I’ve seen you naked. Did you send in an audition tape?”
Leif turned to me and raised one eyebrow like he was wondering the same thing.
“No.” I was impulsive but not that stupid. “I was an art model for a while?”
I knew I’d never slept with crazy man and there weren’t dirty pics of me floating around the internet, so that seemed to be the most obvious answer.
Crazy man’s eyes lit up. “I saw sketches that were done based on you. That’s right. You did a very good job according to a friend of mine. You managed not to get hard and ignored the girls in the room.”
Well, that hadn’t been difficult.
“I’m gay.” I hadn’t been completely sure before that point, but the whole situation had fixed my lingering confusion. I liked talking to girls and even flirting with them sometimes, but actually being naked with them had not been interesting in the slightest.
“That was probably helpful.” Crazy man looked much less nuts as he sympathized with me. “I’ve met a lot of people who did that in college and the inconvenient erections make conversations and sitting still hard. I know a guy who produces a lot of precum when he’s turned on and it was a fucking mess.”
Good grief.
“I’m really glad that wasn’t an issue then.” I was talking about the erection part but crazy man didn’t take it that way.
“You produce a lot of precum too?” For some reason, he stood straighter and smiled…nicely. “We’ve got a new line of panties that have more support up front for those kinds of situations. They’ll go live next week, but I can give you a sample now if you’d like. As long as the picture had accurate proportions, you’d fit perfectly in them.”
