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As my body tried to decide if it was going to get more turned on or just die of a heart attack, Leif made another thinking sound. “Yeah, there’s got to be several ways to get your pup side there. I’ll just have to figure out what works best.”
God.
Heart attack.
Yep, that was what it was going to pick.
Leif didn’t seem to realize I was dead, though. He just kept rubbing his hand over my back and snuggled closer to my corpse. “Should we work our way up to that or go in guns blazing? Part of me says that we should take things one step at a time but then another part of me is pointing out that you overthink everything.”
Well, maybe.
But I was dead, so I didn’t have to worry about answering.
“Drama queen.” Shaking his head, he leaned forward and frowned at the window. “Do you think playing with other pups in the beginning would be fun or is that something we should work up to as well? Dogs are social creatures.”
How was I supposed to answer that?
I wasn’t going to actually be a dog.
“We’ll figure that out.” Brushing aside how weird his questions had to be feeling, Leif was still acting very thoughtful about the whole thing. “The naked and hard part is probably what we need to get through first or you’ll never be able to find that playful headspace the other pups have got. You’ll worry yourself into being a human and that won’t be as fun.”
I had several questions but none came out when he shifted me and glanced down at my lap. “Okay, good. You’re already hard. That’ll make this easier.”
Oh God.
“Stop playing dead. That isn’t the game we’re focused on right now.” Somehow his frown made it feel like I should apologize even though he sounded insane.
“But…” Well, at least I knew I was breathing?
“I’m starting to see why people in BDSM situations need safewords.” Somehow Leif said that without even stumbling over the sentence. “Alright, how should we do this?”
I was worried he might answer if I asked what he was talking about, so I stayed quiet and panicked instead. It felt more productive and I knew I was right when he kept working his way through his options without my input.
“Waiting until we go to bed or you get a shower is the most logical, but logical never makes you happy. So that’s out.”
I was not that difficult.
“The shower would probably make it too easy to ignore me too, and that wouldn’t move us past this road block.” Leif scrunched up his face and went back to looking out the window before he shook his head. “No, I’m not sure any advice he could give would be safe or helpful.”
Oh shit.
No, we weren’t asking crazy guy.
“Yeah, there’s only one good solution that would make sure you could find your pup headspace side when we get you the right gear.” Leif sounded so reasonable that I almost forgot what we’d been talking about. “Okay, do you want to do this very rationally or do you want seduction? I can do both, so don’t worry about me.”
When had I died and ended up in Hell?
That had to be the only reason I was listening to him say things like that. I’d died and I was reliving the fantasies that’d probably gotten me to Hell in the first place.
I just…
Pulling my T-shirt over my head, I closed my eyes and wished I could reach the blanket on the couch.
“If you don’t have an opinion, I’ll pick, but I don’t want to get this wrong.” Leif’s voice sounded frustrated and I knew he was frowning but I wasn’t going to look. “Ender?”
Shaking my head got a sigh out of him. “You’re being ridiculous, but I’m starting to see why you need a Dom. You’ll never get this done on your own.”
There wasn’t a question in his frustrated rambling, so I didn’t feel bad about staying quiet. Unfortunately, it didn’t turn out like I’d expected. Instead of just ignoring me and going on with his day, Leif decided he was the Dom and made the decision for me.
