AllFreeNovel
Share Us
We even had a local cafe who came out in their food truck and brought us all free breakfast sandwiches as their way of showing us support.
I’m overwhelmed by the level of love and support we’re seeing, and I’m so proud I was part of organising something like this. But I can’t help feeling that distant ache in my heart when I look around at the other nurses who have family or friends standing beside them.
Don’t get me wrong, most of my family would be here if they could be. My elderly grandparents couldn’t get here, and my mum is disabled, so she would have the same issue. My dad is working, and has important meetings he can’t miss. They have all texted me, wishing me luck and saying they support me, but it’s not the same as having someone here by your side, holding your hand.
After we’ve been on strike for around four hours, standing in the cold is starting to take its toll. I don’t know why my body is feeling so exhausted. I’m used to being on my feet for twelve hour shifts, and so standing on the picket line for the last four hours is nothing. Yet my body feels like I’ve been running a marathon. My lower back is aching, my legs are starting to feel like jelly, and I’m so dizzy—I guess walking around in circles as I chant is definitely not helping. But it’s that fucking awful headache I can’t seem to get rid of too.
Ever since that night out a couple of weeks ago, I’ve had this headache, almost a pressure like sensation, and it causes the eye sight in my right eye to become blurry. Sometimes it goes away fairly quickly, but other times, it worsens to the point I can barely see out of that eye. When the vision is at its worst, that's when all the other symptoms start to kick in. The worst of which is the dizziness and the numbness in my right hip and foot. It makes walking and staying upright incredibly difficult.
Part of me really panics when I feel myself getting like this, wondering what the hell is wrong with me. But the logical side agrees with my doctor. Migraines can cause knock on symptoms, and all my symptoms can be explained by migraines. It just doesn’t feel like that’s the right answer though. I’ve been a nurse for nearly six years, and during that time I’ve learnt to trust my gut instinct, as sometimes that’s the best indicator that something is wrong. And my gut is telling me this isn’t just a migraine.
Given there’s nothing I can do about how I feel now, I try to think of ways I can help myself to remain on the picket line as long as possible. I look down at the cold, muddy grass, and for a fraction of a second, I do consider sitting down. But in addition to getting a cold, muddy ass, I’m also worried I wouldn’t be able to get the hell back up, which is why I quickly vetoed that plan.
As I look around, I see there’s a lot of people, particularly some of our elderly family members, who are all starting to look a little exhausted, and it’s not even lunch time yet. I need a plan, and I need one quickly.
Without thinking about it, I open my Facebook and Instagram accounts. I barely use them, and the feeds are full of random pictures of people I haven’t spoken to in ages. I scroll to the top so I can make a post, trying to think back to the last time I did it. Luckily I find a setting that replicates whatever I put on Facebook onto my Instagram, so I don't have to worry about using that system. I can barely remember how to use Facebook.
I find the picture we took just a couple of hours ago. It’s the group of nurses from my ward—including Gem, Kym, and Bessy—and we’re all standing together holding our signs. I start writing the post.
This is the amazing nursing team from Sunflower Ward. It breaks our heart that we aren’t caring for our patients today, but we are doing this to help us give better care to our future patients. All we are asking for is what we’re fairly owed… a pay rise.
We miss out on special days with our family to take care of yours. We work long days, with countless hours of unpaid overtime. We work all day without breaks, under very stressful situations. And we do it all with a smile on our face, even if we’re crying inside.
Today we are taking a stand. Going on strike wasn’t the easy option. And we want you to know that our ward will remain staffed today to ensure the current patients receive the best quality of care—because that’s what this is all about. We want to be able to give you the best care. To do that we need help. We need more nurses, and we need fairer pay!
If you want to help, you can come and support us today. We will be outside the entrance to the hospital until nine this evening. If anyone has any chairs laying around that they can spare for a couple of hours, please help us by bringing them over. There are a lot of people here, and we don’t want anyone to have to sit on the ground.
Thank you to everyone who has already supported us, and to everyone who will support us throughout the day—we appreciate you all. Stand with nurses!
Isend the post, and then honestly, I don’t even think much more about it. I can hear my phone sending me notifications that people have either liked or commented on the post, but I will have to check them later. Even though I’m on the picket line, I’m still here to support my staff, and my work phone is constantly ringing as the nurses try to navigate working under such extreme pressures.
Thankfully, everyone is doing a great job, and all the patients that are still on the ward are receiving such good care, I’d be surprised if they even realise we’re on strike.
I also meet up with other senior members of staff every hour to discuss how things are operating in the hospital overall. Although we asked patients not to attend the emergency department unless it’s an absolute emergency, they still are. So we’ve had to send a couple of nurses to help for one or two hours, just to try and clear the backlog of patients. There are some agency nurses, who have no loyalty to the hospital or what we get paid—since they get almost double what we get per hour by working for a private company—and they come in to work for a few hours. It may be costing the hospital a fortune, but I think it’s a small price to pay for people to realise how much nurses really do, and how integral they are to the running of the hospital.
It’s around eleven in the morning when I hear a loud horn blaring as a big van turns the corner into the hospital. I don’t know why this captures my attention so much, given people have been honking their horns to show support for us all morning. But this one is louder than all the others, and as the van pulls up beside us, that’s when I see the sign on the side of the van. It looks like an old white bed sheet, and painted on it in black are the words, ‘We care about nurses, do you?’, then below in smaller red paint it reads, ‘Honk if you love and support nurses.’
The noise from every passing car is deafening as people show us their support, and I realise there must be an identical sign on the other side that people entering the hospital by car can see. Everyone that passes shows us their support, and it’s just what we need to rally the troops who were all starting to deflate a little through cold and exhaustion.
I don’t recognise the man who climbs out of the driver's side, but I could hug him for this. I’m about to walk towards him, when I see a man coming around the front of the lorry, wearing a homemade T-shirt. It’s white, except for my face that’s printed in the middle of the shirt. There’s text around it that reads, ‘This is Emmaleigh. She’s kind, caring, and an amazing nurse. She cares for others without a thought to her own wellbeing. Today I stand for her. I stand for all nurses. Nurses deserve fair pay and we will not back down!’
My eyes begin to mist over as I take in the picture of myself, exhausted after a long day, but still smiling in my nursing uniform. I look tired, but incredibly proud of my job. I look up and see Lee’s beautiful, smiling face and I don’t even hesitate, I rush towards him and throw my arms around his neck, pulling him into the biggest hug.
To say the last couple of weeks have been awkward as hell is a fucking understatement. I’ve been trying to give him the space he asked for. I only ever reply to his texts, and never deviate from the conversation he starts. The short version of that is I’ve hated every second of the last few weeks.
I’ve missed Lee. I’ve missed talking to him like we used to. I’ve missed us having banter together. Of course I’ve missed the sex. But mostly I’ve just missed him; the way he hugs me, the security I feel when I’m around him, and the comfort.
He pulls me in for a tight hug, and I can’t resist taking in his scent. Lavender, cinnamon, and something that is so completely Lee, I can’t even describe it. But as his scent envelops me, it’s like I can finally relax. I hadn’t realised it, but it’s like my body had been on edge this whole time. Like a piece of me was missing, and it’s not until I’m in his arms that I feel complete.
I’m so totally fucked. A girl who is just in this for sex doesn’t say shit like he makes me feel complete. They’re the words of a girl who is falling hard. I just need to hide that from Lee.
If this past two weeks have taught me anything, it’s that I fucking miss him like crazy, and if I have to hide how I really feel so I get just a little of him, then that’s exactly what I’m going to do. I have no idea if I can protect my heart like this, but I’m going to have to give it a go.
Reluctantly, I pull away from him, and he reaches up to wipe away one of the stray tears that are threatening to escape. I give him the biggest happy smile I can manage, and I try to ignore the way my heart races when he smiles back at me. “What are you doing here?” I ask, though it seems a bit of a stupid question.
We’ve talked about the strike before, but he never said he wanted to come and support me. But he must have been planning this for a while, as it’s not the sort of thing that’s put together on a whim.
As he pulls back, my mouth dips into a frown, but he laces his fingers through mine, like it’s the most natural thing in the world. I can feel the eyes of my friends boring into my back, but I don’t even think about it, I don’t think about what this could mean. I just focus on the here and now.
